


I Can't Lose You

by softball45



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Cancer, Emotional, F/M, Heavy Angst, a little smut, agnst, tw: cancer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-09
Updated: 2014-12-30
Packaged: 2018-02-08 04:29:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1926663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softball45/pseuds/softball45
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver isn't acting the way he normally does.  Felicity asks him why but he won't budge.  She's going to get to the bottom of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you guys enjoy this story. Please comment at let me know what you think.

Ever since he walked in that morning Felicity could sense that something was off about Oliver. They practically spent all day together she knew all off his emotions and how he would react. But when Oliver walked in that morning Felicity had never seen him act the way he did before. He walked into his office and sat down in his chair. To most people that wouldn’t be abnormal but Oliver Queen wasn’t most people. He had to always be moving, whether it was pacing in his office or spinning in his swivel chair, he was always moving, except for the past half hour. It had been a half hour and Oliver hadn’t moved an inch. Felicity wasn’t even sure if had blinked in that time span.

When Oliver hadn’t moved to go to his first meeting of the day Felicity decided that she needed to question him about his actions or lack of. When she knocked on his door he didn’t flinch or acknowledge she was there. She went and sat down in a chair across from his desk. “Oliver what’s wrong? You seem a bit off.”

Oliver still didn’t react. His eyes were open but they were glazed over and he appeared to be in deep thought. “Oliver are you alive in there?” When that didn’t work Felicity decided she needed to resort to plan B. “Oliver Queen!” Felicity screamed his name at the top of her lungs using her scary voice.

At that Oliver looked up at her. “What do you want Felicity?”

Felicity was surprised by the tone Oliver responded with. She expected him to be angry, happy or sad. She expected something behind his voice but instead there was nothing. Oliver spoke to her with no emotion. Sure he always hid his emotions from others but there was always something he was revealing, not this time. “Oliver what’s wrong?”

Before he could respond Felicity continued, “Don’t tell me it’s nothing. I know you Oliver Queen and something is wrong with you.” 

“Felicity if I tell you what’s wrong with me you will never look at me the same again. If you know you’ll think that I’m weak, you’ll laugh at me and you’ll be mad at me.” Oliver still hadn’t looked up at Felicity.

“Oliver the only time I would ever be mad at you is when you make stupid decisions. That’s exactly what you’re doing right now by not letting someone in and thinking you could do this on your own. If anything about your time back from the island has shown you it’s the fact that you can’t survive without the help of others.” Felicity was determined to get out of Oliver what was bothering him.

“I keep secrets for a living Felicity, I think if I add one more to that pile it won’t kill me.” Felicity was pissed at Oliver now. Over the past two years she thought she had earned his respect and trust where he could talk to her and open up to her. She understood what the time on the island did to him; she still wanted to be a part of his life where he could successfully vent to her about things.  
“Not now Felicity. Please not now, I have things to do right now.” Oliver was practically begging Felicity to not continue to press him for answers. She respected him enough to stop asking but she would resume questioning another time.

“I know you have things to do Oliver, I scheduled them.” Felicity was so worried about Oliver that she forgot that the meeting they both were supposed to be at had begun ten minutes ago. “Oliver we have to go now. We’re already late.”

It was one thing for Oliver Queen to be late for a meeting, he rarely showed up. Felicity however was always there and always on time, if not early. She knew what would be waiting for her as she walked in and that would be an evil glare from the evil queen herself, Isabel Rochev.

Oliver got up and made his way out of the office and to the meeting room. Felicity was right on his heels. Oliver was walking at a brisk pace, Felicity assumed that it wasn’t to try to get to the meeting quickly. He wanted to get away from her. His only problem, they spent all day together, there was nothing he could do.

Oliver was able to enter the room without a single head being turned; Felicity was not as lucky. When she opened the room Isabel, who was talking, stopped mid-sentence to glare at Felicity then she spoke, “Ms. Smoak, I’m so glad that you could grace us with your presence.”

God Felicity hated this woman so much. There was nothing about her that anyone could like. She was the most repulsive creature on the planet and Felicity got the pleasure of being able to work with her. “I’m sorry that I’m late Ms. Rochev. I was dealing with… personal issues.” Felicity gave Oliver a quick glance. He was looking the same as he had earlier. His mind wasn’t where his body was.

“You’re personal problems should be dealt with when your not on Queen Consolidated time. You shouldn’t even be here.” Felicity couldn’t believe what Isabel had just said. She understood that she should be admonished for being late to a meeting. But for Isabel to say that Felicity didn’t even deserve to be at QC was way over the line.

“As I said earlier I’m sorry for being late, it won’t happen again.” She didn’t see any reason to argue with Isabel. There was no way she would ever win that arguement, no one could win an argument against Isabel Rochev.

“What did you say to my Executive Assistant?” Now that she thought about Felicity realized that the only person that might have an upper hand against Isabel was Oliver Queen, and he had arrived just in time to save her ass.

Just as always Isabel was calm and ready to destroy her next opponent, “I said your assistant doesn’t belong here.” Hearing her say it again twisted the dagger in Felicity’s heart. She was starting to believe that she didn’t belong there. She was nothing like the other people in that room. They all had trained their whole lives mastering the corporate art and she was thrusted into that position without any idea of what the hell she was supposed to do. “The only reason she’s here is because she has it in with you.” The whole room was silent, it was as if the whole room stood still waiting for one of these super powered execs to step down and surrender.

“The only way she is in with me is that we understand how the other works and we work well together. Ms. Smoak knows what she’s doing. She is the best Executive Assistant this company has seen and will see. Ms. Smoak exceeds all of the requirements to be an EA. Without her this company would be failing horribly. She is behind everything I do. When I’m not there she always is picking up the slack for me. There is not one night where she hasn’t worked overtime. She is the first one here and the last one to leave. It will continue to be that way until she decides to quit or I die.” The room was still dead silent but every occupant had their mouths wide open at was just said including Isabel and Felicity.

Felicity could feel the blood rush to her face. No one ever has given her a compliment like that. Not only did Oliver embarrass Isabel but he also showed Felicity how valuable she was to him at his company. She could see that even if Oliver was keeping a secret from her it was only because he thought he had to. 

Felicity awkwardly walked over to the empty seat next to Oliver. Once everyone was seated Isabel said that her presentation was finished and sat back down. Felicity leaned over to Oliver, “Thank you for that.” It was a quiet whisper that only Oliver could hear. It was so quiet Felicity wasn’t even sure she had said it. She knew Oliver had heard it. From the time on the island he’s senses were so keen he could hear a fly take a shit.

The meeting continued for another three hours. Felicity was sure Oliver didn’t hear a single word that was said but gave the occasional nod when necessary. Felicity however paid very close attention to every detail, taking notes along the way.

As soon as the meeting was over and goodbyes were said Oliver practically sprinted out of the room and back up to the office. Once Felicity was back up there Oliver was heading out. “Felicity cancel all of my meetings for today. I need to go to the foundry and work out.”

“Oliver can’t the workout wait until tonight?” Oliver was already long gone. Felicity did as she was told and cancelled the rest of the day’s meetings. Luckily there was only two and one was a lunch with Isabitch Rochev as Felicity would refer to her as.

Unlike Oliver, Felicity had to stay at the office and work. She had already finished the day’s work yesterday so she decided to call Diggle to make sure Oliver wasn’t pushing himself too hard.

After two rings Diggle picked up, “Hey Felicity is everything alright?”  
“Yea John, I just wanted to make sure Oliver was doing alright?” Felicity knew she was being a little too worrisome, Oliver was a grown man, he could handle himself but Oliver still seemed off from earlier and she wanted to make sure he was all right.

“How would I know if he’s alright? Isn’t he supposed to be with you right now in a meeting?” Diggle’s voice echoed with concern. If Digg didn’t know where Oliver was then where could Oliver be.

“Oliver told me to cancel everything and said he was going to the foundry to worko-” That sonofabitch had ditched them. “Dammit John he’s long gone isn’t he? Can you come up here so we can try and track him down?”

Within the minute Digg was upstairs helping Felicity run some programs to find Oliver. “When he left did he run past you at all?”

“No I was paying attention as always. He really doesn’t want to be found does he.” In the beginning it was normal for Oliver to slip past Digg. Ever since he let Digg and Felicity in on his secret he always told them everything regarding his whereabouts.

“Okay we should get a hit on one of these searches in the next few minutes. Did he seem off to you this morning?”

“Now that you mention it yeah. He didn’t say a word to me as I drove him in this morning. Usually we’ll talk about something whether it be Arrow related or sports. But today he just sat there and stared out the window.” Great so Oliver had been off all day this was not a good sign.

“He did the same to me too.” Felicity decided not to tell Digg about how Oliver stood up to Isabel seeing that it wouldn’t help them find him. Suddenly Felicity’s computer made a loud ping sound, a search had come up with a result. Both Diggle’s and Felicity’s heads whipped around to see what they had uncovered.

It showed that Oliver was still in the city, which was good. “Did you schedule an appointment for him with a Dr. Bennet?” Felicity had no idea who Dr. Bennet she never scheduled an appointment for Oliver there.

“Let’s talk to him about this tonight at the lair.” Oliver clearly wanted privacy so Felicity would give it to him for now but she was going to get to the bottom of Oliver’s disappearance. 

Diggle headed back downstairs to his normal post. Felicity spent the rest of the day doing work that Oliver was supposed to have done days ago. As always she was picking up his slack. Felicity left the office at her normal time of about 9:30 pm and headed over to the lair.

When she arrived Diggle and Oliver were sparring as if nothing had happened that day. Felicity decided to confront the doctor’s appointment with Oliver before she regretted it. “So Oliver how was the doctor today?” Immediately Oliver stopped sparring and looked at Felicity. Unfortunately Diggle didn’t stop and Oliver got whacked in the head with a bow stick.

“Sorry man.” Felicity could see the small smile on Diggle’s face knowing he meant to do that.

“How’d you know about the doctors?” Oliver wasn’t paying attention to the fact that he just got hit in the head by a wooden stick.

“Um, we,” Felicity motioned towards Digg, “Found out that you did not go to the foundry, as promised and we were concerned about you and wanted to know why you ran off like you did.” Felicity wasn’t going to wait any longer for Oliver to take his time and tell them when he was ready. This was affecting their daily lives as well. “Oliver what ever is going on tell us. We could never be upset with you. After everything we’ve been through we are here for you. So why did you go to the doctors?”

Oliver’s body relaxed. Finally Felicity had gotten through to him. “I didn’t want you to know about my appointment until I was a hundred percent sure of what was going on. Believe me, I was going to tell you guys, I just didn’t know how.” Oliver wasn’t looking either one of his co-workers in their eyes or even at them. He was staring at the ground trying to find the words to continue. 

“Hey it’s alright you can tell us, we won’t leave you.” Felicity walked over to where Oliver was standing. She put her hand under his chin, which made him look into her eyes. When she looked into his eyes the normal crystal blue, which often filled them, was gone. A dark, almost black, blue took their place. Felicity could see the fear that was currently controlling Oliver. Felicity tried to look like she was ready to hear whatever it was he had to say. She knew that if he couldn’t be strong she had to be there for him and support him.

“There’s something inside of me, and slowly it’s killing me. I… I have cancer.” Felicity was sure that her heart had just shattered. Cancer how could Oliver have cancer?

As if Oliver could read her mind he answered her unspoken question. “It’s breast cancer. Stupid right for a guy to get breast cancer, apparently not impossible though. I was always bound to get it at some point in my life. It’s in my DNA, a gene mutation. I could’ve known earlier, done something to stop this from happening.” His voice was filled with regret. 

“Oliver you didn’t know you had this gene whatever it is. All you have to do now is keep fighting.” After he spoke Oliver’s eyes went back to the floor avoiding both of his friends. 

“That’s the thing. I don’t know if I want to fight it. Felicity, for the past seven years all I’ve done was fight. Fight to survive, fight to save my city, that’s a lot of fighting. I don’t know if I have any fight left in me.” There was despair in Oliver’s voice. Felicity couldn’t begin to imagine how he was dealing with this situation. But she kne exactly what she had to do. She needed to be there for him. To always be his shoulder to cry on when he was sad. To make a joke when he was down. She needed to urge him to continue to fight.

“Oliver that’s who you are. You’re a fighter. No matter what happens you will keep fighting. In the past you’ve fought for your father, this city, and Tommy. Now fight for yourself. Fight to keep fighting for the people who care about you. We will never leave you Oliver. Through thick and thin we are by your side.”

Diggle then chimed in, “We have always got your back man, and we sure as hell aren’t going to stop now.” 

“Thanks guys. For now can we just focus on continuing to protect this city.” Oliver finally managed to look at their faces. Felicity was scared as hell to continue. The possibility of losing her best friend frightened her. But it wasn’t her battle to fight. She just had to make sure Oliver was being smart about every decision he made from here on out.

The rest of the night went on just as any night. Oliver went on patrol had a few close calls, caught a few bad guys, the usual. When he came back from patrol Oliver had a few wounds that needed tended to. Digg had headed home for the night seeing that it was nothing Felicity couldn't handle. When Oliver pulled off his suit to reveal his injuries Felicity was surprised to see how injured he was. "Did you go out looking for a fight tonight?" She poured alcohol on the injuries, Oliver didn't even flinch when the cold liquid was poured on him.  


"Don't worry about me, I'm fine." Felicity could tell that he wasn't fine. Never before had Oliver come back with injuries as bad as these when just busting a few teen gang bangers.  


"No Oliver. You can't just go out there and get the shit beat out of you." Oliver still was avoiding her gaze. "You may think you're slowly dying but that doesn't mean you can leave me just yet. I still need you Oliver. You are one of the most stubborn people I know. So something got in your way. That hasn't stopped you from fighting before why should it stop you now?" Felicity finished the last part quietly.

"I'm sorry. Sometimes it just feels like I'm still stuck on that island." Finally Oliver's eyes met hers pain filled them. How he survived those five years on that island still amazed her. She barely knew anything about what happened and it was still so much. "I don't want to be on an island anymore. I can’t be on an island Felicity.”

"You're not Oliver. You have people who care about you, who would be broken if they lost you. Please don't leave us." Oliver leaned into her shoulder. She let him lie there. Let him rest his head and feel the support of her being there for him. His eyes were closed and so were hers. She was concentrating on his breaths. Steadying hers to match the slow pace of his.

After a few minutes of sitting there and enjoying each other’s presence Oliver got up. He didn’t say anything and he didn’t need to. Felicity knew he was grateful for her. Oliver grabbed his things and left the foundry for the night. Once she heard the door slam shut Felicity looked down to where Oliver had just been resting his head there was a small puddle of water there. Oliver had been crying.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Oliver telling Felicity and Diggle his secret the team tries to find a way to keep moving.

Felicity found herself walking through a graveyard. She didn’t know where she was going she was just walking. She wondered what she was doing there. She didn’t remember how she got there or why she was really there. Nevertheless she continued. As she walked she looked at all of the graves. Every single person had died. It didn’t matter how, they just died. One day they were breathing, they had a family that cared about them, friends that would take a bullet for them and then they were gone. Their family and friends mourned them but besides that no one missed them. Barely anyone knew them. Felicity had lived in the same city as these people for five years and had never heard of any of them. Some of these people could have done bad. Some of these people could have done good. Felicity would never know the truth because no one else remembered them. That’s what death did to you. It makes you be forgotten, all your belongings are given to others and suddenly they’re not yours anymore. All you were is a distant thought, a memory.

It didn’t seem fair to Felicity. Oliver deserved to be more than just a memory. She hated that the Oliver Queen the city would remember was a playboy who didn’t give a single fuck about what happened to others. That wasn’t the Oliver Queen she knew. The one she knew was kind and caring. He went to extreme efforts to make sure that everyone was all right before he worried about himself. She admired that Oliver, even looked up to him. That’s why she joined this crusade he was on. At first it was to find her boss, Walter, over the few months following she realized that Oliver, Diggle, and her were doing actual good for the city.

Felicity found that suddenly she had stopped walking. She looked down at the grave to see that flowers surrounded it. It was the only one to have some happiness around it. Already Felicity hated this grave. Why did this one get to be prettier than the others? What was so special about this grave? She looked down and saw who’s grave it was the headstone read, Oliver Queen a self righteous bastard who never truly gave a shit about anyone thank God that cancer took him from us. Felicity burst into tears. “No! No, no no no no!” She was now screaming.

There was no one around to hear her but Felicity continued, “Oliver Queen is a good man. He fights every night to save this city. He has done so much good. And he will continue to do good. Even if he is gone what he did for this city we always be there.” Felicity didn’t have a problem with seeing that Oliver was dead. She knew it was a possibility. Every night both of them risked their lives. For a long time they both expected to die defending the city that they loved. But not like this. For Oliver to die from something inside him was not right. His body was the strongest part about him and now it was failing him. Oliver deserved so much more than what he was given.

With a start Felicity woke up. She saw that she was never in a graveyard. Oliver was still alive. It was 4:00 am. Felicity couldn’t believe that only six hours ago Oliver told her he had cancer. The rest of the night Felicity spent researching. She scoured the Internet as best she could to find anything about the disease. Of course what Felicity did was hack multiple databases and a few different government agencies to find the information she wanted. After about an hour Felicity found a good amount of information about everything. 

The genetic mutation that Oliver mentioned he had earlier was in the BRCA gene. Felicity found that the BRCA gene suppressed tumors but with a mutation in the gene you were seven times more likely to get breast cancer. Oliver was right; he was always destined to end up getting cancer he could have known sooner. But they couldn’t live in the past. They had to continue to find a way to stop the present. Felicity also researched Oliver’s doctor, Dr. Bennet. She was the best cancer doctor in Starling City. Apparently she studied at Johns Hopkins. Felicity was amazed at the doctor’s resume.

Felicity got off of her computer at 5:30 am. Since she wasn’t going to fall asleep any time soon she assumed she might as well head into work early. Felicity proceeded to take a shower, get dressed, and do her make-up in the next half hour. It was a record for her. She wasn’t in a rush to get to work. Well in a way she was. She wanted to see Oliver as soon as possible. Just to make sure he was doing all right and see what his plans for treatment were.

One might say that Felicity was obsessing over the whole situation. Just like anything she wanted to be prepared for what may happen and did not want any surprises to occur along the way. That of course was not possible. The way they always did things, something was bound to go awry at some point. As much as she tried Felicity could never control everything. 

At 6:30 am Felicity arrived at Queen Consolidated. No one was there except for a security guard who let her in. She knew that Oliver wouldn’t show up until 10:00 am so she had some more time to kill. In that time she played some Candy Crush on her phone, organized reports for the day’s meetings, and of course did some minor hacking for the target that they were going after that night.

Finally Oliver arrived at the office. “Morning Oliver.” She didn’t even bother to look up from her computer. Their relationship was more than the average assistant/boss type thing. They knew each other extremely well. She knew that Oliver didn’t need a grand welcome to his office and Oliver knew that Felicity couldn’t take her eyes off of the computer when she was working on something. It was a good arrangement. 

“Good morning Felicity.” Oliver stood at her desk waiting for her to finish what she was doing. Once she was done she looked up at Oliver waiting to hear what he wanted. She found that Oliver was eagerly looking at her. She saw a different Oliver than yesterday. Today he was more or less back to the Oliver she knew. But he wouldn’t be the same. Just like the island this is going to change him. It will change all of them. Each member of the team will be different in their own way. Felicity thought back to when she first joined Oliver. She was such a different person now. It was a good different. She was still awkward and babbled, a lot, but she was also more confident in everything she did, not needing to check to make sure she was doing something correctly. Maybe the change will make them better. It wouldn’t make anything worse. They were all going to experience it together and that’s what was important. 

“I was wondering if you could schedule an appointment for me with Dr. Bennet for Monday?”

Felicity was glad to hear that Oliver was ready to begin his journey. “Of course Mr. Queen. Is 9:00 am all right? That way you can still make your first meeting.” Oliver gave her a small nod to signal it was good with him. “Anything else I can do for you right now Mr. Queen?”

“I would like you to join me for the appointment Felicity.” She was definitely not expecting that response from Oliver. Her face went slack expecting Oliver to say he was kidding but his face was a statue.

“Why would you want me to join you on a personal appointment? I’m your assistant Oliver.” Felicity stopped herself before she could ramble more.

“Felicity you are way more to me than just my assistant. You’re my friend Felicity. I rely on you more than you could ever imagine. This is hard for me to admit but I’m scared. I don’t know what’s lying ahead for me and I don’t want to go through this alone. I need you there by my side every step of the way.” 

“Of course I’ll be there with you.” Felicity didn’t hesitate to respond. She wanted Oliver to see that she was going to be there with him. “Every step of the way I will be by your side. Just like when you go on missions.”

Oliver had a smile on his face. Felicity could tell that he didn’t sleep much either that night. She couldn’t imagine the toll it was taking on him. “Ah speaking of just like our missions I assume you’ve already done a lot of research of what’s going on with me.”

Felicity nodded and then handed a green folder to Oliver, “Inside is everything you need to know about the cancer, Dr. Bennet, and the treatment options.” Oliver had already started looking over the information inside before Felicity could finish speaking. She could see that he was ready to face his next opponent, ready to defeat what was inside of him.

“Thank you for this Felicity.” Felicity could tell that Oliver was keeping his emotions close guarded. He was beginning to open up.

“I was wondering if you had told Thea about what’s going on.”

“I can’t tell her. I want to let her in but I can’t.” Oliver was now staring out of the window looking down on the city. 

“Oliver you need to let her know. She left with Malcolm Merlyn because you kept hiding things from her, lying to her. If you let her in you can’t make anything worse. She’s your sister Oliver she will understand.” Ever since Thea left Oliver had been going out almost every night for longer than he normally did. She knew that he hadn’t spent the whole time patrolling. She knew that he couldn’t go back home. One time Felicity came back to the foundry because she forgot her purse. She found Oliver asleep on the couch. It was evident that he only went home to get clean clothes.

“I would hate me if I was her. She had lost me for five years. Five years that I wasn’t there for her. And then I came back, she was so happy, the brother she had lost had returned. But I hadn’t returned. I was still on an island, secluding myself from anyone that gave a damn about me. I’ve failed her Felicity. There’s nothing I can do about it.” His eyes were closed. It was as if he couldn’t bear to look at himself. Oliver didn’t think he deserved to feel the love that others gave him.

“You’re right you put yourself on an island. You’re still there. Everyday you shut people out, people who care about you and would take a bullet for you in a heartbeat. You’ve gotta stop. Thea loves you Oliver, trust me she always has loved you. You just have to give her the chance to see that you’re done shutting her out and you can do that by telling her that you want to talk.” Oliver still hadn’t opened his eyes. He opened his mouth as if he was going to argue against her but she didn’t give him the chance, “Luckily you have the world’s best assistant who was able to track her down so you could go visit her when you were ready.”

She handed him a post-it note with the address of where Thea was. “Felicity.” His voice was rough and it struggled to get out. Felicity could tell he was trying to hold back emotions and still appear to be strong. His eyes were a much darker blue than normal. It was as if almost all the light had been sucked out of him. Then Oliver looked directly into her eyes and Felicity could see that his pupils dilated and then his eyes were soft. Earlier they were stone cold with no emotion. Now they were soft and light-hearted.

“Yes, I’ll go with you. I’ve already cleared tomorrow as of right now you only have a family to put back together.” Felicity smiled knowing that she had completed her goal for that day and that was to get Oliver to see that he didn’t need to think he was alone in this.

Felicity was grateful it was Friday. Friday meant shorter hours at QC and longer hours with the team fighting crime, and she enjoyed her second job a whole lot more. Friday also meant the end of the workweek. Felicity needed this week to be over. This was the most tiring week she had since they defeated Slade over four months ago. She could almost imagine what her eyes must look like right now. As she walked over to go make some coffee Diggle came out of the elevator. By the looks of it he hadn’t got much sleep either.

“Coffee?” Diggle nodded and rubbed both of his hands over his face in an attempt to wake himself up just a bit more. Oliver came out of the office. Felicity imagined they looked like any regular co-workers discussing gossip over a morning cup of coffee. They were all more than co-workers. 

Just as Oliver stopped right beside her he glanced down at what appeared to be three coffee cups, “I thought you said you would never be getting me coffee.” There was a sly smirk on his face.

“Yeah well things can change, people can change, and situations can change. The world is filled with change. And besides it looks like all three of us got no sleep last night.” As if it were planned simultaneously all three of them yawned at the same time.

“I’ll take what I can get.” It was apparent that Oliver hadn’t slept in days. “Digg, tonight we aren’t going to do any Arrow work tonight. I want all of us to pack tonight and I want both you and Felicity to join me tomorrow to try and talk to Thea.”

“Of course boss. How long will we be gone for?” 

“It will only be for this weekend.” Digg proceeded to take out his phone. Felicity figured he was texting Lyla to let her know that he wouldn’t be able to go out that weekend. Felicity felt bad for Lyla. Digg was always being ripped away from her. Almost every night it seemed that Oliver came first for Digg, for both of them really. At the drop of a hat Felicity would stop whatever she was doing to help Oliver. If she heard that he needed her she would be there for him in a heartbeat.

Felicity began to see that she had been pulled into Oliver Queen’s orbit. It wasn’t a bad thing. She enjoyed being with Oliver. He was a good guy when he wasn’t pointing an arrow at your head. She kept asking the question of why Oliver? Why did Oliver have to get cancer? He sure as hell didn’t deserve it. Felicity could think of a hundred different people who should have cancer before Oliver Queen and she was one of them. She thought she deserved it more than him. He has saved her life so many times and she wanted to do that for him.

Oliver interrupted her thoughts, “Thanks for the coffee Felicity.” Felicity could tell Oliver was grateful for the freshly brewed coffee. She knew that there would be a lot more coffee they would be drinking to get through the day. Oliver then walked into his office where he had a telecon with investors in China for the next few hours.

That left Felicity and Diggle to talk. “How do you think he’s doing?” While she was talking Felicity never lifted her gaze from Oliver following every movement he made. Most of his movement was him talking. She watched every movement his lips made. 

“I know he’s struggling. On the drive here he was silent again.” Diggle was looking straight at her. “He relies on you. Without you he would’ve given up a long time ago.” Felicity was now looking at Digg expecting him to continue but he stopped there.

After a moment of hesitation of wondering what to say next Felicity spoke what had been on her mind since Oliver had told her about the cancer, “He doesn’t deserve this. After everything that he has been through, to give him this, it’s not fair.” Felicity turned her gaze back to Oliver. He was still on the conference call. She knew at some point she was going to have to get back to work but right now she just wanted to continue to watch Oliver work.

“You’re right it’s not fair. He shouldn’t have to go through this, but he does. Unlike other things he has faced he has help to get him through this.” Oliver looked over at Felicity with a smile on his face. He mouthed a thank you to her. She gave a sympathetic smile back and felt bad that he had a meeting for the next few hours. He just laughed at her, probably because she had a slight coffee mustache across her face.

Oliver was still happy in this dark time. After all he has been through he is still able to put a smile on his face. Digg continued, “I know you’re worried about him Felicity but if any one is going to be able to beat this it’s Oliver.” For the past twenty-four hours Felicity had been thinking that Oliver didn’t deserve what happened to him that the world was an awful place for giving him cancer but she had to face reality. Her best friend was dying. She wasn’t ready for Oliver to leave her. She might never be ready. But he had cancer and was dying. That was the truth. Sooner or later she had to face him about it. Right now it needed to be later. When she was ready. Oliver would never truly be ready for that talk. But she couldn’t wait around for him to initiate it. Not with his numbered days left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think. Feed the muse please I love to hear what you have to say.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver needs to reconcile with Thea.

Felicity woke up to the alarm on her phone going off. When she rolled over in the bed she remembered where she was. She was in Blüdhaven with Oliver and Diggle. Right now all Felicity could focus on was how comfortable the bed was. She felt like she was floating on a cloud. The bed sucked her in and did not want her to get up. Last night was the best sleep she had gotten in what seemed like an eternity. She went to bed at a decent time and got to sleep in. Well, Felicity’s view of sleeping in was to get up at 7:00 and she got up at 7:15. The only thing that got her out of bed was the need to take a shower.

The bathroom she was in was ginormous. Felicity was sure that it was bigger than her bedroom in her apartment. There was a Jacuzzi bath that took up most of the room. If she didn’t have any place to be she would be in there and covered with bubbles. Sadly though, Felicity had stuff to do that day and could not stay in her pajamas and binge watch her favorite show for the millionth time. A shower would do for now. 

After the shower Felicity got out and began to dry off when there was a knock on the door. She peered through the peephole to see Oliver standing there. To her surprise he was wearing a t-shirt and jeans. Of course she had see him in a t-shirt before but never when they would be going out in public. She assumed Oliver wanted to show Thea that he wasn’t that billionaire playboy she knew as her brother, he wanted her to see the real him.

“Good morning Oliver.” Surprisingly Felicity was in a good mood despite what had happened the past 48 hours when everything around her turned to shit. But maybe now life was looking up a little bit.

“Um, Felicity.” Oliver glanced down to her body. Felicity looked down to see her towel still hung there and didn’t look like it was about to fall. “You’re just wearing a towel.” He looked like he didn’t know how to handle the situation he was in.

“No shit Sherlock. I was just getting out of the shower when you knocked. Would you like to come in?” Oliver skirted past Felicity and was careful not to make any physical contact with her. He went and sat on her bed so she grabbed her clothes and headed to the bathroom to get dressed. Oliver and Diggle’s room was down the hall from hers. “So what’s on the itinerary today Mr. Queen?”

“Well I was thinking that after you’re ready we could go get some breakfast and then head over to meet Thea.” 

“Sounds good to me.” Felicity shouted back.

Oliver had stayed in the same position as when he first walked in and sat down. They continued to talk through the bathroom door, as she got dressed. This weekend almost began to seem like it would be somewhat relaxing after Oliver talked to Thea.

Oliver stayed in her room until Felicity was ready to go. Everywhere she went his eyes followed. When she would look back at him he would smile at her. Felicity was having a hard time doing her make-up. She never felt so much pressure to be perfect. Oliver was watching her every move and today she would be meeting Thea Queen. Felicity never really met her before but the Queens were the epitome of perfection so Felicity wanted to fit in. Seeing what Oliver was wearing Felicity decided to go with something more casual than what she originally picked out. A simple blouse, jeans, and her favorite pair of heels would suffice.

At about 8:30 am both her and Oliver emerged from her room. She saw that Digg was guarding the door. She also observed that Digg looked them both up and down. Felicity shook her head at Digg answering his unspoken question if anything happened in there. She hadn’t told Digg about what happened in the foundry the night that Oliver told them he had cancer. She wanted the thought of Oliver letting his guard down to her all to herself.

Once they were all in the car, Diggle driving Oliver and Felicity in the back seat, the silence was broken, “So where are we eating I’m starving.” Diggle spoke.

They finally decided to head to a local diner. The diner was packed. It seemed as if everyone in the town was at the diner. After twenty minutes of waiting they were able to get a table. Felicity ordered chocolate chip pancakes with a side of bacon while Oliver and Diggle both ordered some type of egg plate.

Once they were finished Felicity headed to the bathroom to clean up and fix her lipstick, which was now covered in chocolate. “I love your shoes where did you get them?” The comment startled Felicity. She had to look around for a few seconds before realizing it came from a woman in the stall behind her.

Once she recovered from a near heart attack Felicity responded, “They’re from a small boutique in Starling City.”

“Oh cool. I’m actually from Starling City. I might know the place.” The woman then emerged from the stall. Felicity glanced in the mirror to see who had complimented her.

“Shit!” Felicity dropped her lipstick in the sink and stumbled a few steps back. The woman ran over to help Felicity steady herself.

“Are you all right? Is something wrong?” She questioned.

“No sorry that happens a lot to me actually, I’m extremely clumsy. But you, you’re Thea Queen. Like the Thea Queen as in Queen Consolidated, billionaire Thea Queen.” Felicity was acting star struck at a person who she came here to meet.

“I’m not really a billionaire. I left that life a long time ago. But yes I’m Thea Queen. Do I know you from somewhere?” From what Felicity remembered Thea was a lot different now. She was more self assured of herself and confident with every move she made.

“Yeah, we actually met before at your club, Verdant. I also work at Queen Consolidated; I’m your brother’s Executive Assistant. My name’s Felicity. Felicity Smoak.” 

“Oliver has talked about you before. He said that you were the most remarkable employee at QC. He said that without you the company would be failing horribly.” Wow. What Oliver said was true. Felicity looked in the mirror and saw her face was bright red.

“That’s why I’m here, with your brother. He really wants to talk to you.” Thea let out a big laugh, which shocked Felicity. She was expecting more of a happy or thrilled face. But considering that Thea had left him her reaction made sense.

“That bastard wants to talk with me. Me! It’s been months since I’ve left and now he wants to talk about it. We watched our mother die and he didn’t even have the decency to attend the funeral. He has never been there for me, and now he decides that I’m worthy of his presence. Tell him to fuck off.” Thea spat the last part out. Felicity could see the hatred in her eyes, it was the same look that Oliver had whenever he went out as the Arrow.

“Thea I understand that you don’t want to see him. He may not deserve to talk to you but he needs to. He really needs to talk to you. Please just listen to what he has to say.” Felicity was trying to calm the young Queen sister down but no matter what she tried nothing worked.

“Tell him that I don’t want to ever talk to him again and I wish that he would’ve died instead of our mother!” That shocked Felicity. To think that Thea could hate Oliver so much that she wanted him dead. Oliver needed to talk to Thea. To get closure on what had happened between them. And right now Felicity was blowing that opportunity for him before he even got started. She decided that she would have to guilt Thea into talking with Oliver.

“He might.” Felicity spoke quietly. Even though she wasn’t speaking loudly Felicity’s voice was overpowering the younger woman’s, “He might die soon. That’s why he wants to talk to you. He wants to make things right in case he does. Just give him an opportunity to tell his side and let him say his piece. Can you do that?” Thea only managed to nod. She was clearly shocked by the news that Oliver may be dying. “He’s sitting right outside let’s go talk to him.

As soon as they made it out of the bathroom Thea sprinted to where Oliver was almost knocking him over. Felicity could hear Thea crying into Oliver’s shoulder. After a minute Oliver broke away from the embrace and suggested they go some place with less people.

Thea took them to her apartment that was located a few blocks away. As soon as they entered Diggle took position outside of the entrance giving them a little privacy. Felicity went to stand next to Diggle to leave the two alone to settle unfinished business.

“So what is this about you dying?” Even though Felicity was outside with Diggle she could hear every word that was spoken and she knew Diggle could hear them as well. 

“How did you know?” There was surprise in Oliver’s voice. He of course didn’t know what was said in the bathroom. The Thea that was in the room behind Felicity was different than the one that she talked to in the bathroom. This Thea was weaker a little scared. Of course she was still extremely strong but she had just learned that her brother may be dying and that would frighten anyone.

Felicity could sense that there was just some unspoken words exchange between the two that at some level probably involved her.

Oliver took a deep breath and continued to talk, “I have cancer.” Thea gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. Felicity flashed back to when Oliver told her. She felt like she wanted to curl up in a ball and cry for the rest of her life. No person should ever have to hear that news in his or her life.

“It’s only Stage 2 so it should be treatable but I couldn’t risk not resolving the issues between us.” Oliver was staring Thea directly in her eyes. And she was staring straight back at him her gaze not leaving his. “I understand why you left. I’m mad at myself for letting you leave; I should’ve been there for you. I should’ve told you my secrets, but it’s hard. For five years I kept everything to myself. For five years I was the only person I could trust to be there and do what I needed done. I had a hard time letting go of those five years. I have failed you Thea I am so sorry.” 

Felicity could see that Oliver hated himself for not being there for Thea. He hated keeping secrets from her. “Oliver, getting away from everything was what I needed. It gave me a chance to figure out who I was. I imagine that’s what the island did for you.” He was in tune to every word that she was saying. “Getting away gave me the chance to forget about everything that happened. And when Felicity came and told me you wanted to talk, it all suddenly rushed back to me. And I didn’t want anything to do with you. It hurt to remember what happened… to Mom… to you.” It was evident that Thea was struggling to hold on to her emotions. You could hear that she was trying to hold back tears.

“I thought I needed to be who I was born as, Thea Merlyn, but I don’t, I’m Thea Queen, it just took some time to figure that out. I guess a lot has happened over these few months, to both of us. Remember when I showed you Dad’s and your graves?” Thea didn’t wait for a reply, “I told you that you had to let someone in, I didn’t think it would take you so long. And I sure as hell didn’t think it would be Felicity.” Thea’s words surprised Felicity. It seemed that at the diner Thea wanted to strangle Felicity. “I thought it would be Laurel. I mean you had a history with her. You were comfortable with each other.”

Oliver didn’t hesitate to respond, “Well sometimes you need a fresh start, a new beginning. And Felicity allowed me that. She didn’t know who I was before the island and she didn’t care who I was. That’s what I needed because I’m not that same man. She rescued me from that island and I will be forever grateful for that.” Felicity was smiling. The thought that Oliver trusted her enough to open up to her made her feel special.

Diggle glanced over at her and had a smile on his own face. Felicity mouthed at him to shut up but that only made him laugh harder and her blush more. They both had to quickly regain their composure and act as if they hadn’t heard anything because a few seconds later they both were invited in for a cup of coffee. “So how long are you guys going to stay in town?”

“We’re just here for the week-end.”

The rest of the time at Thea’s apartment was spent making small conversation, nothing too heavy for anyone to handle. After a few hours of talking conversation finally came to a close and Diggle, Oliver, and Felicity got up to leave, “Hey Oliver,” Thea called out, “I was wondering if you guys wanted to go out to dinner tonight? There’s this magnificent restaurant on the outskirts of town. Is seven good?”

“Of course we would love to. See you tonight Speedy.” Oliver pulled Thea into an embrace and then the three of them were off. 

“I’d say that went well.”

“Yeah. It was good to finally talk to Thea again.” Felicity could see that Oliver didn’t want to go into enormous detail about how he felt meeting with Thea. It was obvious another part of him had healed by talking.

“So what do we do until dinner?” Felicity asked both of the older men with her.

“I was thinking that we could be tourists for the day. Walk around and explore the city.”

“Oliver Queen walking around a city taking pictures and actually enjoying himself. Wow I have to see this for myself.” 

“Joke all you want but I always thought that Blüdhaven was a beautiful city and I would like to walk around it with the two people I enjoy spending time with.” Oliver was already halfway down the street when Felicity and Diggle decided to join him.

It turned out that Oliver was right Blüdhaven was a beautiful city. There was so many neat things to explore and the food was incredible. The three of them went on a paddleboat. Diggle was in his own and Oliver and Felicity were in another one. Oliver seemed so engaged in everything. Multiple times he pointed out different historic monuments and explained the history behind them. Felicity was amazed at what he knew. She had never seen this incredibly intellectual side of Oliver before. She didn’t even know that it existed.

After the paddleboats they decided to head back up to the hotel to rest and clean up before dinner with Thea. 

It was around 3:00 pm when they arrived back at the hotel, four hours before dinner with Thea. They headed up to Oliver and Diggle’s room to relax before getting ready. When Felicity entered the room she again was amazed by it. This room was bigger than hers and that was saying something. There was two queen beds and a couch.

Felicity was beat from walking around the city and decided to make herself at home and lied down on one of the beds. Diggle went to the other bed and lied down there. Oliver took off his shoes and went to sit on the couch. Felicity motioned to him to join her in the bed. At first he hesitated not wanting to over step any boundaries, but eventually he went over to her and sat on the bed.

Once he sat down Felicity scooted closed her eyes and let she drifted asleep.

When she woke up she realized that her head was on top of Oliver’s chest. The way her head fit in there was perfect. His chest seemed to conform perfectly her head. One of Oliver’s arms was wrapped around her back. It was the most comfortable position Felicity had ever been in. The way that she rested against him and the way he seemed to support her. Felicity wanted to lay there the rest of the day absorbing the heat that he was giving her. Sadly she couldn’t. She looked at the clock and saw that it was 5:00 o’clock.

Ugh Felicity had to get up to get ready for dinner. Oliver was still asleep and she decided to let him continue to rest, he needed it. Slowly she tried to slip away from his grasp. After a minute of slowly trying to inch away Oliver’s eyes shot open. He looked at Felicity he was clearly still tired and confused of what was happening.

“Hi,” Felicity said awkwardly, “sorry I woke you but it’s time to get ready for dinner with Thea.” Felicity got finished getting up and walked out of the room to her room. 

Once the door shut she finally breathed. Being in Oliver’s arms was the best feeling. When his arm was wrapped around her she knew that she was safe, that nothing would be able to get to her. Oliver would protect her no matter what.

“Mhmm.” Felicity practically jumped out of her skin at the voice. A small squeal had managed to escape her throat. It was Diggle. He was leaning, with his back against the wall, outside of the room. “How was your nap?”

“It was fine.” Felicity couldn’t stop thinking about waking up in Oliver’s grasp and how natural it felt.  
There was a smirk on Diggle’s face. He knew exactly what she was thinking about. Even though she was 20 times smarter than him, he was still able to make her feel incredibly stupid. Felicity instinctively went to push up her glasses. When she did there was nothing. She must’ve left them on the nightstand in the other room. Before Diggle could say anything Felicity scurried off to the safe haven of her own room.

Felicity took her time in the shower. So far this was the best day Felicity had in a while. It was fun. She got to goof off with her best friends. It was relaxing and that was exactly what the doctor ordered.

Once she got out of the shower Felicity took an unimaginable amount of time to decide what to wear. She was just going to dinner with some friends but two of those friends were Oliver and Thea Queen. They were the poster children of how to dress for an evening out. Felicity wanted to make sure she looked perfect. She packed away six different dresses knowing that a situation like this would occur. After 40 minutes of trying on all of the dresses Felicity still hadn’t picked which one to go with. Eventually she chose a blue one with a grey belt and grey heels. She then proceeded to do and re-do her makeup no less than five times within the following twenty minutes. 

Once she had everything done and was ready to go Felicity made her way to the lobby where they had agreed to meet at 6:45 pm. As she made her way down the glass elevator she spotted Diggle and Oliver standing in the middle of the lobby waiting. They both were dressed in suits that looked the same to her but Oliver’s was probably twice as much as Digg’s.

As she made her way around the corner she noticed that Oliver was staring straight at her. She couldn’t manage to look away from him. Of course he was extremely handsome in his suit but he also had a huge smile on his face. His teeth were actually showing! She had never seen a smile that big on his face before.

While still looking at Oliver Felicity felt her leg hit something. The next thing she knew she was falling towards the carpet below her. Oliver was quickly by her side helping her up off of the ground. In a panicked voice he spoke to her, “Are you all right? Is anything hurt?”

Felicity quickly shook her head and brushed herself off. Only she would end up doing that. Right as she made her entrance would she fall on her ass. She tried to play it off as if nothing happened but of course Digg was in a fit of laughter. Oliver shot him a quick glare in which Diggle immediately stopped laughing.

Once Felicity fully recovered from her horrifying, embarrassing fall she noticed that Oliver still hadn’t removed his hand from her arm. She got goose bumps where he touched her. “Felicity. You look incredible.” Felicity could feel herself blush slightly.

“As do you Mr. Queen.” He hated when she called him that and they weren’t in the office. And he would usually react in some way but this time he didn’t. 

Diggle finally approached them and gave Felicity a hug. “You look amazing Felicity.”

“Thank you John. I am starving, let’s go eat.”

The restaurant was twenty minutes from the hotel. Along the way Felicity kept thinking about how she managed to embarrass herself in front of the CEO of Queen Consolidated. Sure she’s done that plenty of times but to her this time was different. She didn’t know why yet. That’s what she was trying to figure out. Nothing had come to mind in the time it took them to get to the destination.

Thea was already seated when they arrived. She got up to great them. Felicity was greeted with a warm hug. It suddenly felt like she had known Thea her whole life. She guessed Thea did that to most people. Welcomed them and made them feel comfortable around her. 

Oliver had ordered a glass of wine for the table. It was Felicity’s favorite, red. “What should we toast to?” Oliver asked.

“Fuck cancer.” Felicity blurted out before giving it a second thought. That was the first thing that popped into her head. That’s what she had wanted to express for the past few days, just fuck it. Fuck everything, she didn’t give a damn anymore. Clearly not everything worked out the way she had planned. Felicity never planned to join in on Oliver’s crusade, she never planned to have her boss land in the back of her trunk bleeding to ask her to save him, she never planned that she would save him, most of all she never planned to fall in love with that same boss. And now the man she loved was dying in front of her eyes. But that shit had happened. She fell for him quickly, and now she was losing him just as quick, so fuck it. Fuck feelings, fuck life and fuck cancer.

Oliver snickered at her response but looked like he agreed with the toast. Simultaneously they raised their glasses and shouted, “Fuck cancer!”

Dinner went by smoothly. It was mostly conversation about what Oliver was like as a kid. Thea told Felicity and Diggle embarrassing stories of Oliver. Felicity never thought she laughed so hard before. The best part was that Oliver used to run around in a cape and pretend that he was a super hero. That part killed her.

“Wait, Oliver you actually wanted to be a super hero?” Felicity was trying to hide her laughter.

“Yeah. Every kid has a dream job that they want to do. Some want to be firefighters; others police officers, professional athletes. Well mine was to be a super hero. I don’t think that it’s an absurd idea. I could be a super hero if I wanted to be one.” It was almost an inside joke between Oliver, Diggle and Felicity. Oliver was a super hero and they were his sidekicks.

The rest of the night Felicity couldn’t get the image of a 3-year-old Oliver running around in a cape pretending to save people. Hell she can’t even imagine present day Oliver running around in a cape.

By the time the check came Felicity was surprised to see the time. It was ten o’clock. They had spent three hours eating and talking. Felicity was sad to say good-bye to Thea. The young girl had grown on Felicity. They shared similar taste in fashion and Thea was able to give her some helpful tips on where to buy some great clothes.

Finally they were all back in the car and on their way back to the hotel. Once the door shut Felicity couldn’t help but question Oliver, “A cape!”

“Yes Felicity I wanted to be a super hero with a cape. It was cool.” Oliver couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought of him in a cape.  
“So what happened why did the cape miss the cut when designing your outfit? You clearly have a knack for leather.” 

Felicity never got an answer to her question. Oliver just shook his head. It seemed like this weekend had been a success. Oliver got to reconnect to Thea and they even managed to have some fun. 

Once they got back to the hotel Felicity went straight to her room. She couldn’t wait to lie back down in the bed. As soon as she was in a comfortable position someone was at her door.

With a groan Felicity got out of the bed and walked to the door. Oliver was waiting for her there again. His tie was undone and his shirt was unbuttoned just a smidgen. Felicity couldn’t help but notice how his Bratva tattoo managed to show through the white fabric.

Oliver looked just as exhausted as she felt. Eyes droopy, not able to stand up straight without leaning on something, and she knew he didn’t have any wine at dinner. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” Felicity spoke groggily but managed to put on a smile.

“You left these with me.” Oliver held up her glasses that she had lost earlier that day.

Felicity snatched her spectacles from Oliver and put them on. “Ah that’s the Felicity Smoak I know.” Oliver was smiling.

“Thank you for these Oliver. Goodnight.” Felicity spoke graciously.

Before the door was shut completely Oliver responded, “G’night Felicity. Don’t let the bed bugs bite.” Felicity was able to conclude that a sleepy Oliver was the cutest Oliver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck cancer.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys sorry I haven't posted in a while I didn't have any internet access i was barely surviving. I hope you enjoy this chapter let me know what you think.

On Monday morning Felicity went to the doctors with Oliver as she had promised. She hated hospitals, always had. Ever since she had to get treatment after shocking herself while taking a computer apart she hated the feel of them. They were always too quiet, or too clean. For a place that had a lot of blood and disease occurring you think it would be dirtier.

Anyways, you would think that as she got older and matured she would have gotten over of the fact that hospitals creeped her out, but no. They still sent chills through her body whenever she set foot in them. She had to face her fears and had to be there for Oliver. Today they would be finding out what kind of treatment would be the best option and how likely it would be to be able to fight off the cancer.

Oliver hadn’t talked about what happened over the weekend. Maybe what happened wasn’t anything, and Felicity was overreacting about it but suddenly she felt like she could never leave Oliver’s side. She felt like she owed him everything because he trusted her. He had opened up to her a little over the weekend. Of course Oliver wasn’t going to talk about his feelings. He wasn’t suddenly going to open up and pour his heart out to her. She was ready to pour her’s out. The fact that over the weekend Felicity felt like she was whole when around him proved what she had already known. 

That confession wouldn’t be happening right now. Felicity couldn’t blurt it out in a hospital. Well, Felicity could. In fact on many occasions she would blurt things out at the wrong time. She tried to make sure confessing her love for Oliver would not be added to that list.

In silence Oliver and her made their way towards the doctor’s office. When they arrived the doctor was already waiting for them. Felicity assumed when Oliver Queen was your patient you made sure the schedule was clear. 

Dr. Bennett led them into her office.  
“I know that this is diving into the situation quickly but it needs to be done, Oliver we need to discuss treatment options.” Dr. Bennett knew that Oliver had been procrastinating dealing with the cancer. “Right now there are various paths we can take but if we wait any longer the cancer may spread.”

“My assistant has informed me of possible treatment options and I would like to go with the ones that she has picked out.” Dr. Bennett gave a look of surprise. Oliver was right and Felicity had picked out a set of treatments that should hold the best results for Oliver. Felicity handed the folder to Dr. Bennett.

“I had done some research and discovered that these treatments would have the best results for Mr. Queen with the least amount of side affects.” 

“Ms. Smoak, this is impressive. This is actually what I was going to recommend for Mr. Queen. So the plan would be to have surgery to remove the tumor, and then undergo six rounds of chemo treatment along with radiation. After all of this you should be cancer free but some things may go wrong.” Fear washed over Felicity, “There is a possibility that this treatment won’t work and the cancer will still be there. I know it’s not what you want to happen, but we have to be prepared in case the worst comes.”

The rest of the meeting went by as well as possible when talking about how Oliver could possibly die. They scheduled when Oliver would have his surgery. It would be on September 26th, less than a month. It all seemed so quick to Felicity. His surgery would be in three weeks. There was almost no time to process what was happening. She knew that Oliver had cancer and that surgery would be the first step of his treatment, but none of it had actually sunk in. It had been almost five days since Oliver told her and all of it still seemed surreal.

Felicity would have to try to get her head screwed on straight because she was his EA and needed to get Oliver through this. She also had to anchor him to reality, to not let him want to slip into the unknown.

Leaving Starling City Medical Center that day Felicity felt like for the first time she knew what would be going on. There was no unknown facing her, for now. She was more worried about how Oliver felt. Today set it stone that he had cancer and that he was going to have to fight it, there was no going back.

The rest of the day was going to be busy. Oliver had two meetings, one was with the board members of QC, which was supposed to last until 3:30 pm, and the other was with potential investors. Both meetings relied on how well Oliver could make a sales pitch, usually Oliver would nail those meetings but these days he wasn’t looking too keen on making that pitch today.

Felicity had to unfortunately also attend these meetings. Out of all the meetings the one with board members was the worst. Oliver would always get criticized about how the company was so called, ‘failing’ and Isabel Rochev was there as well. Felicity took out her tablet and was ready to go when suddenly Oliver cried out and stumbled from the chair on to the floor. She looked over to him and saw that he was grabbing his chest in the same place where the cancer was. Felicity rushed to his side.

“Oliver look at me! Hold on Oliver we’re going to get some help! Hey Oliver, focus on my voice. Breathe in and out.” Felicity was instructing herself more than Oliver right now. From minimal training that Digg had given her, Felicity was able to tell that his pulse was weak, there was only a faint beat. 

Oliver was writhing in pain right in front of her. Her eyes were beginning to fill with tears. Everyone else in the meeting room had backed away from them. Felicity finally snapped into attention, “Ms. Rochev, call 911 now!” To Felicity’s surprise she quickly whipped out her phone and started to make the call without protest.

Felicity tried to keep Oliver talking to her. It was the only thing she could think of that might keep him alive. Her heart felt like it was going to explode out of her chest. She looked into his eyes; there was almost nothing there. The light had almost vanished. All that was left was a pale blue color that hinted that maybe… just maybe he was going to make it. “Dammit Oliver! You are not done fighting! After all of the shit you’ve been through this is not how you’re going to leave me! Not now!” Felicity was slouched over his chest.

Felicity could feel everyone’s eyes on her but she didn’t care. All she could concentrate on was Oliver’s breathing. “If you leave now you’re a coward! Running away from your problems won’t fix anything. Fight it Oliver, I know you’re strong!” Felicity couldn’t yell anymore. There was nothing worth yelling about. If he was going to die then he would die, there would be nothing that she could do.

Suddenly hands were gripped around her waist and yanked her backwards. Diggle was there along with paramedics. She buried her face into his chest. Felicity didn’t want to see what the paramedics were doing to Oliver. She wasn’t sure she could handle that image.

Digg stroked the back of her head, “Shh, he’ll be alright, he’s strong, he’s going to make it.” 

It didn’t seem like he was going to be all right. Felicity knew what she saw and what she saw was that something had gone terribly wrong with Oliver.

When Felicity looked back up everyone was gone. It was just her and Diggle left in the room. It was like a ghost town, one minute so many people were there and now, no one. Diggle must’ve seen the look on her face.

“They took him away. The paramedics were able to stabilize him and are now currently transporting him to Starling City Medical Center.” It took a little time but Felicity was finally able to collect herself again.

“What happened to him?” Her throat was sore from all the yelling, and crying.

“They don’t know yet.” Felicity already knew what happened. It was the cancer. It had gotten to him before he could get to it.

Diggle drove her to SCMC. Even though the hospital was only five minutes away it was the longest car ride of her life. All she could think about was that it was the end. This was a major setback. Maybe Oliver wouldn’t be healthy enough for treatment. So many possibilities crossed her mind and not one of them was positive.

When they arrived all the news stations in Starling City were outside of the hospitals doors. When the city’s most famous person collapses at work people wanted to know why. She could only imagine the stories that the media was selling. What they thought happened was probably way off point.

Luckily both her and Diggle were able to escape the madness through the back entrance. This time the hospital was even worse for Felicity. This time her best friend was in the Emergency Room. There were plenty of people there but at the same time it felt as if almost no one was there. No one knew what she was going through, how she was feeling. Felicity wished she were Oliver. It was easy to die. Death wasn’t frightening to her. Death was an escape route. It was living that was hard. Living is where you had to fight. You always hear of people fighting to continue to live but you never hear of anyone fighting to die.

Right now she was all alone fighting to survive. Things could be worse of course. As far as she knew Oliver was still alive, he was right besides her fighting to continue. Felicity never thought about the affect that Oliver’s situation would have on her. Apparently it was a big impact because she felt as if her life was falling apart before her eyes and there was nothing she could do about it.

After what seemed like an eternity they finally arrived in the waiting room, “You know he’s going to continue to fight.” Digg’s voice was quiet.

“I know he will, I wouldn’t wish for anything else but you didn’t see him today… you didn’t see the look he had in his eyes.” Felicity was staring at the floor, “He was in so much pain. That’s all that there was, pain. He wanted to give up, he wanted to move forward.” Maybe it was time for him to move on to whatever was next.

“But he didn’t. He’s still fighting to live another day, he wants to continue.” 

She disregarded his words, “Maybe the only good thing about death is that you never have to relive it, you never have to remember the pain.” She could see that Digg gave up on trying to make her feel better, right now there was no point in arguing with her.

Felicity thought about what life may hold if Oliver wasn’t there. Would she still have a job at QC? Would they still fight crime? Felicity couldn’t begin to fathom what life would hold without Oliver being there. “I don’t want to lose him, Digg. I don’t think I could continue without him.” Diggle didn’t reply to her. He didn’t need to; she knew he heard what she said. He was probably thinking the same thing. How could they continue without Oliver?

Four hours later the doctor finally came in it was Dr. Bennett, Felicity’s suspicions were confirmed. “Oliver’s stable, for now. The cancer had spread, that’s what caused him to collapse earlier today. We had to move up the surgery. It was successful.” Felicity was finally able to breathe. It was the best news she could ever wish for. It was all done with. Oliver was cancer free, they could finally move on. “Now the cancer itself should be eliminated from Oliver’s body but the battle still isn’t over. We still want to continue with the chemotherapy and radiation treatment. This will make sure that the cancer is truly gone.”

Felicity was getting ahead of herself. The battle that Oliver was facing wouldn’t ever be over. The fact that the cancer could comeback would always be carried with him wherever he went. “Can we see him now?” Felicity asked.

“Yes you may. He’s going to be sore and a little out of it, he’s just down the hall.” Felicity blew past the doctor and sprinted to where Oliver was laying.

The man that was in the bed before her was not the same man that she saw everyday. He was broken and weak. It was hard for her to look at him. He was… he wasn’t the brave man that she saw everyday and it made her feel uneasy. Oliver was one of the strongest people in the world and to see him broken down was unsettling.

“Oliver.” He turned to look at both her and Diggle.

“Felicity, Diggle.” The pain was expressed all over his face.

“How are doing?”

“I feel like shit. I can’t believe I collapsed in front of the entire board of QC today.”

“Now you know how it feels when I babble.” Oliver chuckled but then he quickly cringed from the pain.

“I’m going to get some coffee.” Diggle left them alone in the room.

“I wanted to thank you Felicity.” She didn’t understand why he would be thanking her for anything. “I was close to letting go. I wanted to let go and move on, I thought that I didn’t have anything left worth living for. Then I heard your words and I realized I have you to fight for.” Felicity sat down next to Oliver on his bed and he grabbed her hand.

His hands were rough compared to hers. She could feel everything that he had been through in the past six years. All those years on Lian Yu were shown on his hands. All the torture that he had, all the battles fought to stay alive, all the killing. Everything about Oliver was on his hands.

“My time in this world may be limited but I am so grateful for you. Once I get out of this damn hospital I want to enjoy life for a little bit. I want to stop and smell the roses with you.” 

Felicity realized that the man before her cared about her. He always had cared about her but now he cared for her. She had always had feelings for Oliver who couldn’t? He was a billionaire and the fact that he was very attractive. Felicity wanted to tell him how badly she needed him to survive but she couldn’t put her heart out there stopped her. Oliver wasn’t in the best condition right now. There was a chance that he might die and Felicity wasn’t sure that she could live through that with telling him how much she loved him. “There will be time for that when you get better, just please get better.” Felicity leaned down and gently kissed his forehead. 

Oliver was now on the road to recovery. A small speed bump had shown up but it was nothing that he couldn’t handle. The journey for them was just beginning. And it wouldn’t be over anytime soon. It was cancer and cancer consumes you. It takes over your body until there is nothing else. Felicity didn’t want to be left with nothing else. She wanted Oliver to get better. More than anything she wanted Oliver Queen.

A few minutes later Digg returned with coffee for her. Once she had drank the coffee she realized how much she needed it in her system. The coffee didn’t just wake her up it also gave her warmth that she had been missing.

“I’m sorry to say but your secrets out Oliver. There’s a fleet of news stations and reporters outside.” Diggle reminded them. Felicity forgot all about the fact that Oliver had collapsed in front of so many people and news vans were scrambling to get the story.

“I guess we better tell them the truth and face up to the fact that I have cancer.” Oliver’s voice was morbid. The past few days had worn down Oliver, it was now just beginning to show. 

“I’ll let the PR team know and they can get on it.” Felicity sent a quick email to the PR guy bluntly saying that Oliver had cancer and they needed to let the media know.

Felicity sat down next to Oliver on the bed again. She grabbed his hand in hers it was cold and clammy. She imagined his whole body felt that way. His body was so busy fighting off the disease that it didn’t have time to worry about how the rest of him was doing. “Felicity why don’t you and Diggle head home and come back tomorrow. You both need sleep and there’s nothing you can do for me here.”

Reluctantly Felicity left. The only reason was because Digg practically dragged her out of his room. First thing tomorrow morning Felicity would be by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The quote “Maybe the only good thing about death is that you never have to relive it, you never have to remember the pain.” Is not mine it's by Pittacus Lore.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it's been a while since I posted on this work. But no worries because I have everything planned out for the next few chapters. I really hope you guys like this, let me know what you think.

It had seemed a lifetime ago when Oliver had finally told Felicity that he had cancer.  All the emotions from that day still came to her every morning when she would wake up and realize that he did in fact have cancer.  Every morning she would wake up and feel like she couldn’t continue. 

 

But finally Oliver had turned a corner. Three months after Oliver’s emergency surgery he was about to start chemotherapy treatment along with radiation. He was on the right track to recovery; life was peachy for everyone.

 

When the news hit that billionaire Oliver Queen had cancer the world took pity on him.  Every one looked at Oliver in a new light, they felt bad that he had to suffer this fate, cancer.  After everything that he had been through, being stranded on an island, seeing his mother get murdered in front of him, they felt bad for the kid that they once scrutinized daily. That’s what pissed Felicity off. She stood by Oliver’s side every damn day.  Every day she encouraged him to keep fighting, she always believed in him, even when everyone else counted him out she was by his side.  Now the people that had said he was an ungrateful rich boy were saying that they empathized with him.

 

No one could empathize with him. The only one who was close to it was Sara and she hadn’t been around for a while.  Felicity agreed with the media, Oliver didn’t deserve this. But what the media didn’t understand was that Oliver was going to live.  On every news channel in Starling City they were saying that Oliver Queen was going to die, they had counted him out just like when he was on the island. Oliver was mostly cancer free as is but the media kept asking who would be running Queen Consolidated after he died.

 

Felicity realized that she couldn’t dwell on that. In the end it was the media’s job to gossip about the world’s celebrities.  All that mattered was that Oliver was going to live.

 

That morning her, Oliver and Diggle drove to the hospital for the treatment.  In the past three months Felicity had barely left Oliver’s side, she was hoping that Diggle hadn’t noticed how much she actually cared for her boss but she had known that he was in tune to what was going on with his best friends. Every night her and Oliver would be the last people to leave the foundry and the first to arrive the next day.

 

Over the past few months both Oliver and Felicity realized that they couldn’t live without the other; Felicity knew that if she lost Oliver her world would crumble around her.  She didn’t let him go out as the Arrow any more, Felicity had made it clear that Oliver couldn’t risk getting injured. Surprisingly without argument he agreed. Digg and Roy would go out every night to protect the city as Oliver once had.

 

Finally they arrived at SCMC. They were escorted by a group of hospital security guards to the room where Oliver would be receiving treatment. On the way Dr. John Lewis, head of chemotherapy and radiation treatment, briefed them on what would be going on today. 

 

Felicity got lost in all the words that the doctor was saying. It all was overwhelming her from what she was able to understand Oliver would be in the chemo room for about four hours; once he was finished the radiation equipment would be brought in, he would be in that for another three hours.  This would be going on for three more times after today.

 

The doctor gave the three of them time to talk, “Felicity, I’m going to be fine.  All they are giving me are some drugs, they will do more good than harm.” Oliver must’ve seen that Felicity was mortified by what the doctor had just said.

  
“I know, you know me I would feel better if I had come up with these drugs.  Some of these doctors are fakes al they want to do is make money, I’m sure I could’ve done a better job.” Felicity could hear the breaks in her voice.

 

“Well unless you can get your doctorate in the next ten minutes you’ll have to let the doctors do their jobs here, you can’t do everything.”  Digg pointed out the reality in what Felicity was saying.

 

“I can’t believe that two years later and you guys still doubt my skills.”  Both Oliver and Digg gave a small laugh.  “If you die I’m going to kill you.”  Oliver was seated in a private room.  Around his chair there were different monitors and IV’s that would soon be hooked up to Oliver. Also next to Oliver there were two chairs where Diggle and Felicity could join him.

 

A few minutes before the doctors came in Oliver went to the bathroom to change into the gown that the hospital gave him.

 

“What’s going on with you two?” Digg asked after Oliver had closed the door.  Felicity only stared at the equipment surrounding the room.  “Felicity?”

 

She herself didn’t know what was going on with them. “I don’t know. It’s all happening too fast.” Digg looked at her questioningly.

 

“I’m just trying to look out for you and Oliver but are you sure that what’s going on is real?  With everything going on did you ever think that you’re not just caught up in the heat of things?” Digg had valid points.

 

“I’ve thought about those things every night John. I analyzed _us_ as much as possible, will we work out? Or will this tear us apart, and truthfully I have no idea.  What I do know is that I’d rather get this time together with Oliver than wake up tomorrow and regret that I never got to spend that time with him.”  John looked as if he had found the answer he was looking for. “I love you for making sure I know what I’m doing but I want you to know I am a grown woman and I have a higher GPA than you and Oliver combined.”  Saying those words aloud made the reality of the situation hit Felicity. Now more than ever she was sure that her feelings for Oliver were real and they may have a chance to work out.

 

“Who has a higher GPA than me?” Oliver had emerged from the bathroom covered in the polka-dotted gown that was given to him.

 

“Almost everyone.”  Felicity said instinctively without looking up from Digg. Once her eyes finally rested upon Oliver she couldn’t help but laugh, as Oliver stalked towards her awkwardly walking in the gown.

 

It seemed as if the gown only covered the parts of Oliver that Felicity hadn’t seen.  It only covered his leg until the mid thigh area, it hung low on his chest where you could see his bratva tattoo in full.  Oliver looked like a giant in the gown.

 

“Did they not have a gown big enough for your gigantic ass?”  Digg said through a fit of laughter.

 

Oliver shot a threatening look at Digg but he didn’t waver with his laughter.  Felicity could only shake her head at the two men that stood before her. It was nice to get a laugh out of today; the daunting events of the day still were ahead of them.

 

Right as Oliver sat down Dr. Lewis’ team of nurses came in to get Oliver hooked up to the various IV’s that contained the drugs that would be entering his system shortly.  Felicity couldn’t stand looking at Oliver as they attached each IV to him one by one.  She hated needles; to see three of them enter Oliver made her body shiver.  She got up from the chair and walked over to the windows that were in his room.  From there you could see all of Starling.  From the glades to Queen Consolidated every bit of the city was visible.

 

The doctor said that three different types of medicine would be given to Oliver, docetaxel, doxorubicin, and cyclophosphamide. Felicity didn’t have a clue what any of them were, she mentally noted to research them later.

 

“Okay Mr. Queen you should be set. If there’s anything you need let one of my nurses know.”  Dr. Lewis left the three of them in the room to do whatever they wanted.

 

To pass the time they managed to play twenty games of rummy and Felicity had won all twenty.  “You’re cheating.”  Oliver exclaimed, “There’s no way that one person is this good at simple card game.”

 

“Oliver you’re just mad that I beat you twenty times, Digg’s playing too and you don’t see him complaining.”  She gestured towards John.

 

“Oh no she’s definitely counting cards, that much is obvious.  The only thing I can’t figure out is how, it’s a simple card game played by kids. How can she count them?” Felicity pouted when both of her friends had accused her of cheating.  She couldn’t deny it she was in fact counting the cards.

 

It was something she learned to do one Friday night at MIT with her roommates.  It wasn’t much different from Blackjack, complex equations and probability both involved.

 

What seemed like a few games later Dr. Lewis came back in.  “From the laughter in here I’m guessing nobody’s dying?”  Felicity blushed, were they really making that much noise? “I just wanted to check to make sure Mr. Queen was alright.”

 

“I’m sorry doctor Lewis but you have to call security and take this women away.”  Oliver pointed his finger at Felicity.  “She’s cheating in a family card game and making me lose, I want her out of here.” The doctor gave a small laugh and walked away.

 

“Well it’s about noon, I’m gonna go get some lunch. Would ya like anything Felicity?” Diggle offered.

 

“Ooh Chinese sounds good.  I think I saw some in the cafeteria as we came in. Thank you John.” She shouted as he walked out. “Wow it’s already noon, in half an hour you get to start the radiation.  Time sure does fly when I’m kicking your ass in rummy.”  Felicity had a big smirk across her face.

 

“Well at least I’m a fair person.” Oliver retorted.

 

Felicity laughed at his response, “Oh so now you’re so high and holy says the man who puts an arrow through someone if they look at you funny.”  It had been a joke to say that Oliver would shoot someone if they did one small thing because he rarely went out anymore.  Most nights he would try and work out in the foundry but Felicity would send him home before he did too much damage.

 

“I don’t know when I did it but I’m glad I did.” Oliver was looking into her eyes. Felicity felt as if he had her captivated just by using his eyes.  She remembered her mom saying when she was younger that you can tell someone’s life story by looking in his or her eyes.  She could see everything Oliver had been through, everything he was feeling.

 

There was pain, loss, sadness, happiness, all of those things were expected.  The one thing that her mom told her she had never seen in a man’s eyes was love. Her mom said that only a few men would ever show you that they whole-heartedly love you and when they do, you know it’s the real thing.  In Oliver’s eyes at that moment all she could see was love.

 

Her heart swelled when she saw the look he was giving her.  In her two years with Oliver the only time she saw that look was when he was looking at her. “What do you mean Oliver?” She inched her chair towards him; without hesitation he reached his hand up to her face and stroked her cheek, Felicity leaned into his touch.  There was a safeness that she felt whenever he was around, even if he was injured or battling a deadly disease Felicity felt the safest when she was around Oliver.

 

“I don’t know when I fell in love with you. It doesn’t matter when I did because whenever I see you I fall in love over and over again.  It’s the best feeling in the world because I know it’s there, I know how I feel about you but every time I look at you it hits me again and it feels like something new.  I want you to know that I do love you; more than anything in the world, I just hope you can accept that from me.”  There were tears forming in his eyes.  Felicity couldn’t imagine what it took Oliver to say that.  He rarely revealed any kind of emotions and to say what he just said made Felicity feel honored.

 

“I do Oliver, I always will.”   Felicity moved closer to Oliver, not knowing what had taken control of her body she leaned into him pressing her soft lips against his rough ones.  The kiss wasn’t out of the ordinary; there was nothing more involved than two people who loved each other showing it for the first time.

 

Even though it was a simple kiss Felicity felt light-headed after it.  The kiss was something that she had dreamt of many times.  But now when it actually happened it didn’t feel like reality.

 

When Felicity opened her eyes Oliver was looking at her with a smile on his face.  His hand still cupped her cheek and her arms were still wrapped around his neck. She didn’t want to let go of him; all she wanted to do was to continue staring into his eyes.

 

Diggle cleared his throat to announce his presence in the room, which made Felicity jump back five feet.  To her relief he didn’t say anything about what they had just done. She looked at both men and could tell there was an unspoken conversation going on between them that she wasn’t invited to.

 

Felicity couldn’t get the fact that she just kissed Oliver Queen.  Sure it was a teenage thing to do right now but she couldn’t shake that feeling out of her body. Even while she was eating the Chinese food that Digg had brought up she was still giddy from earlier.

 

After another few minutes the team of nurses and Dr. Lewis re-entered the room.  Dr. Lewis said that the chemotherapy treatment for the day had finished and that Oliver would be escorted to the radiation room.  A nurse with a wheel chair told Oliver to sit down and she would wheel him over. Oliver being the stubborn person he is declined the offer and said that he was strong enough to walk over without any help.

 

“Oliver you just sat in a chair for four hours getting drugs pumped into you body you really should rest.”  Against Felicity’s argument he still refused the assistance.

 

The radiation section of the hospital was in a different building that was connected by various indoor walkways. Oliver started out strong walking; once he got to the end of the first hallway he reached for Felicity’s arm which had been by his side the entire time.  The rest of the walk was mostly Felicity supporting Oliver as he slowly made his way down the empty halls of the hospital.

 

After what seemed like a few hours they made it to the radiation room.  Before Oliver went in Felicity whispered one last thing to him, “I told you you weren’t strong enough to walk by yourself.”

 

“Digg, make sure she doesn’t kill anyone while I’m in here.”  John and Felicity weren’t allowed to go in the room that Oliver was in because of the amount of radiation he was being exposed to.  At the news that she couldn’t be with Oliver in the room Felicity almost killed the nurse that told her.  She was beyond furious; she wanted to be with Oliver every step of the way.

 

Oliver was helped into a machine where he had to lay still for the next few hours.  Felicity had never seen a machine like the one he was in.  It was like an MRI machine fused with an x-ray machine. There was a glass door separating her from Oliver.  She could see everything that was going on in the room, there was nothing that she wanted to see. Oliver couldn’t move from where he was laying and there was absolutely nothing else in the room.

 

The next three hours were dreadful for Felicity. All she could do was pace around the waiting room.  She filled the time with checking different searches, looking into the stocks of QC, and doing anything that would keep her mind off of what was going on inside the room next to her.

 

Felicity jumped out of her seat when Dr. Lewis came in, “Oliver is done for the day, everything went according to plan. We will see him again in a month.” Before the doctor had finished his sentence Felicity was standing outside of the door waiting for Oliver to get dressed back in the clothes he arrived in.

 

“Oliver we should get you back home. It’s been a long day, for all of us.” Oliver gripped Felicity’s arm tightly through the whole walk back to the car.

 

“I’m fine Felicity, besides it’s my name on the building I need to show investors that I’m all right and that the company has nothing to worry about.”  There was annoyance present in Oliver’s voice.  She knew he didn’t actually want to go back to work, who would want to do that after spending the first half of the day stuck in a hospital?

 

Lucky for Oliver he didn’t have any meetings the whole day.  After three hours of being at QC Felicity glanced up from her work and looked over at Oliver. His head was in his arms resting on his desk.  Felicity wanted to let him continue to sleep it was the first time that he had slept in who knows how long.

 

Oliver looked peaceful sleeping. It also frightened her because Felicity could barely see the movement of his chest, except for his light snoring she would’ve rushed to his side and make sure that he was in fact still breathing.  

 

Felicity decided to close shop for the day both Queen Consolidated and the Arrow.  She know that Oliver would be enraged about it later but he needed his rest; Oliver could never stay mad at Felicity for too long, besides she had an upper hand on him now.

 

Before Felicity left she checked on Oliver one last time.  Of course he was still sound asleep at his desk.  “ _I_ _love you_ ,” she whispered.  Felicity could’ve sworn that she saw a smile grow on Oliver’s face.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't posted in a while. School just started back up for me and it's been hectic. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Let me know what you think.

“Oliver!  What’s happening?”  Felicity couldn’t believe she let Oliver go on patrol in his condition.  She felt bad for him the past few months have been hard on him. Three chemo and radiation treatments done and Oliver said he was feeling good enough to go on patrol. Felicity couldn’t believe what an idiot she was for letting him go out there.

 

His patrol was only supposed to be for an hour and only small time criminals but it had been ten minutes since Oliver’s voice had reached her ear and she was starting to fidget like crazy. The last thing she heard from him was the sound of him threatening some low life criminal and then the comms went silent.

 

“Digg, we need to go get him, he’s in danger!” Felicity wasn’t sure how she knew it. There was a feeling in her gut that told her Oliver was in deep trouble.  Digg rushed to grab everything he needed and was out the door in less than a minute.

 

“ _Where were his last coordinates Felicity?_ ”  Quickly she tracked the last location they had on Oliver.

 

“Somewhere on the pier, it’s not giving me exact coordinates dammit!  God fucking dammit!” Felicity was barely holding it together. She slammed her tablet closed. Oliver was out there, in trouble, and she was sitting on her ass doing nothing about it.

 

“Felicity, calm down.  Oliver needs you to have a clear head right now.” Felicity took a deep breath, “I’m looking for him now, I’m sure he’s fine.”

 

Digg was right Oliver was a grown man he could take care of himself just fine.  No matter what Felicity told herself the panic still rose within her. It had been several minutes since Diggle had arrived at the pier.

 

Felicity knew that as time went on there was less of a chance that Oliver would survive.  She couldn’t believe that she let him go on patrol in the kind of condition he was in.  There was a 90% chance that _she_ could fight him and win.

 

“I’ve got him Felicity.  He’s fine just unconscious.  We’ll be back in twenty minutes.”  Felicity let out a breath she’d been holding in.  Oliver was going to be fine, at least for now.  Even now knowing that Oliver was going to be fine Felicity couldn’t sit down.  She still had the same feeling in her stomach she got when the comms were filled with silence.

 

That feeling stayed with her until she heard the opening of the foundry door.  “I’m fine Digg I can walk.”  Oliver gritted out. Felicity had cleared the med table so Oliver could sit down.  She could see that there was a patch of blood emerging from his head.

 

Felicity didn’t give him a chance to recover from what just happened, “What the hell were you thinking?  Going out there in your condition, that was the most idiotic idea that you’ve had and you’ve come up with some ridiculous ones!” The worry that had once filled Felicity was now replaced with rage, “You could’ve been injured, or killed. There are people out here that actually give a damn if something were to happen to you.  _I_ wouldn’t be able to live if _you_ weren’t by my side.” Tears were starting to fill her eyes.

 

Too often these days she had to think about what life would be like if Oliver wasn’t by her side.  After months of trying to figure out what she would do without Oliver Felicity still couldn’t come up with an answer.  She would be lost, unable to function.  Oliver meant the world to her; she couldn’t afford to lose him.

 

“I’m sorry.”  Oliver jumped off of the table.  He was now inches away from her face.  He whispered, “I’m so sorry.  You’re right I didn’t think about how it would affect you.  But now I have and I promise that I won’t go out there again. Not until I’m better. Besides it’ll mean I get to spend more time doing this.”  Felicity didn’t expect the kiss that Oliver gave her.  Her rage had now subsided and her stomach was filled with butterflies.

 

Still close together Felicity responded, “I could get used to that.”

 

“Oliver sit back down so I can finish cleaning your head.  Then you two can continue what you were doing.”   Digg made Oliver sit back down so that he could finish cleaning up the gashes he had on his body.

 

“Digg can you go out at night as the Arrow every once in a while so Oliver doesn’t have to?”  Felicity knew that if no one was patrolling the city at night Oliver would insist that he had to go out there.

 

“Sure I’ll go.”  Felicity nodded her head gratefully.  She was happier now knowing that Oliver would be in danger less often.

 

“Go home Oliver get some sleep. You look like you need it.” Felicity tried to convince Oliver to go home after Digg finished patching him up.

 

“Fine on one condition I’ll only go home if you come with me.”  Felicity groaned, “I haven’t been able to sleep in weeks the only time I can is when I’m with you.” Felicity laughed.

 

“You really think I’m going to fall for that line?” Oliver had his puppy dog eyes looking at her, “Fine okay.  I’ll go. See you Monday John.” Felicity grabbed her jacket and left for the evening.  She looked at Diggle on last time and she could see even he knew where this night was about to go.

 

“We’re taking my car, not your extremely dangerous motorcycle.”  She said as Oliver walked over to where is bike was.  “Besides you have a head injury it would be completely irresponsible for you to drive.”

 

On the drive to Oliver’s mansion Felicity was still mad that he went on patrol and got injured.  She would’ve been broken if he had died.  Luckily that was not the case.  Oliver was sitting next to her and she was about to stay his place. All that Felicity could think about was how this night was going to turn out and she still couldn’t figure out that answer when she was walking up the front steps.

 

Oliver got the key out of his pocket and opened the door.  When Felicity walked in all the emotions from the last time she was here rushed back to her. When Oliver told her he loved her.  None of that mattered now because she knew that Oliver _loved_ her. 

 

Before Felicity could set anything down Oliver was right in front of her.  He grabbed her hands and leaned in.  At first the kiss shocked Felicity.  She knew that this would probably be happening tonight but not within the first ten seconds of being there.  Of course she kissed back. Felicity could feel the energy surging through her body.  Suddenly on the cold winter night she couldn’t feel any warmer.

 

Felicity was trying to touch everywhere on Oliver’s body just when she found what she needed he pulled away. Felicity groaned when she didn’t feel his body against her anymore, “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now.” A look of content was spread across Oliver’s face.

 

Felicity needed more of the kiss, of _him_.  Unlike Oliver she was not content with just a kiss.  Before she could think everything through she slammed her body into him with enough force to make Oliver stumble back a few steps.  Quickly he regained his composure and pushed back.

 

Felicity’s fingers combed through Oliver’s hair grasping at the short strands.  She could feel Oliver’s tongue pressing against her lips, begging for entrance. She allowed him to continue. Felicity let out a stifled moan. The way his tongue moved around seemed surreal to her.

 

While one hand rested on the back of her neck she felt the other glide down her back resting around her ass. In a swift motion Oliver lifter her up and she wrapped her legs around him tight.  Not because she didn’t trust him but because she didn’t want there to be any space to be left between their bodies. 

 

She heard a moan escape Oliver’s mouth this made her want him even more.  Oliver started to move them towards the stairs and up to his bedroom, “The table.” Felicity moaned out. She couldn’t wait to go upstairs; it was too far.

 

Without hesitation Oliver changed their course. Still intertwined with each other Oliver gently set Felicity on the table, which proceeded to knock a few picture frames down.  Quickly Felicity grabbed Oliver and went to take off the t-shirt he had on.  Her hands were shaking from what just happened and after a minute of trying Oliver took over. 

 

Once the shirt was off Felicity tried to cover every inch of bare skin with her hands.  She covered each scar with her hand being careful not to trace over it yet. She wanted to wait until the morning to do that.

 

With Felicity sitting on the table Oliver towered over her more than usual.  Felicity looked into his eyes.  They were filled with passion and determination.  Oliver wrapped his arms around her waist.  Their lips still hastily moving over one another Oliver pulled down the zipper of her dress.  Goosebumps covered her back. While his hands were back there Oliver unclasped her bra.  This caused Felicity to moan, loudly, “Fuck, Oliver.”  Her lower abdomen was throbbing.  She wasn’t sure how much longer she could wait for him.

 

His hand moved from her back to her front. He proceeded to massage her breast. His thumb flicked back and forth over her nipple.  This caused Felicity to jerk into him.  When she did that she felt his erection press against her thigh.  Oliver let out a deep growl.

 

For the next minute both Oliver and Felicity exchanged moans back and forth.  Suddenly the chandelier above the table turned on.  “Ollie is that you down there?”  The voice was Thea’s.  Felicity heard her footsteps as she came down the stairs and into view.  “Wow okay. I’m sorry didn’t mean to walk into _that_.”  Felicity saw that Oliver was still shirtless and Thea could see that the back of her dress was unzipped.

 

Oliver put his shirt on and greeted Thea, “What are you doing here Speedy?”  Oliver said, his voice strained with frustration.  This gave Felicity enough time to zip up the back of her dress and to fix her hair.

 

“I thought I’d come home and see how everything was going.”  Thea glanced Felicity’s direction, “By the looks of it you’re doing just fine.” Felicity blushed at her words.

 

“I’m sorry I was just leaving. Oliver you should probably get caught up with your sister. I bet you have a lot to talk about.” Hurriedly Felicity was grabbing her belongings that were strewn across the floor of the Queen Mansion.

 

“Felicity, please stay.  I didn’t mean to interrupt whatever… that was.” Thea gestured towards the table that Felicity was previously sitting on.  “I do want to get caught up with Oliver _and you_. The last time we talked we barely got a chance to get to know one another.”

 

Felicity was hesitant at the idea of staying any longer.  She looked at Oliver to see what he thought about the idea.  He mouthed please over and over again until she eventually caved, “Okay sure that would be lovely, thank you.”

 

“So Thea, why are you back in town?” Oliver sat down on the couch in the next room.  Felicity quickly sat by his side.

 

“Well I heard what happened with you at the office a few months ago.”  A shiver went down Felicity’s back.  She had forgotten about what happened in the office.  There had been so many times where Oliver could’ve almost died that the time in the office seemed like a distant memory. 

 

“I should’ve called to let you know that I was fine. It wasn’t anything that I couldn’t handle.”

 

“I also missed my big brother. I thought we could catch up some more. After Mom dying a realized that there was so much she was keeping from us.  I feel like I barely knew her and didn’t want it to be that way with you.” Felicity felt as if she shouldn’t be there for this conversation.  “So Felicity how have you been?”

 

“I’ve been good.  I guess, I mean with Oliver’s treatment and everything else going on it’s kinda hectic at the office.  But then it’s also been _really_ good as you could see by just walking in on us there.  So yeah I should probably stop before I give away too much.” Felicity closed her eyes and took z deep breath.  She could feel both of the Queens’ eyes on her.  She was five minutes into talking to Thea and she already made a fool out of her self.

 

“How did you two end up together? I’m assuming that’s what happened back there.  Knowing my brother he probably did some stupid move which of course you didn’t fall for.” Thea looked eagerly at Felicity. She knew that Thea wanted all the gossip on how her brother acted.

 

“If by move you mean get cancer then yes he did some stupid move and made me realize that I couldn’t live without him.” Felicity could tell that the answer Thea got was not the one she was looking for.  It was true though.  Felicity had realized that there was nothing to live for if Oliver wasn’t by her side.

 

Felicity turned to face Oliver. His eyes locked on hers. She could tell that Oliver was wondering how he deserved her.  She was wondering how she deserved him.  Even though he had been through so much he kept on fighting everyday. Felicity didn’t know why she deserved such a strong man in her life.

 

“Well that’s enough sappy love for one night. I’m going to go up to bed. It was nice talking again Felicity. Ollie in the morning I’m going to talk to Roy any idea where he is?”

 

“He took over the club while you were gone. Full time, it’s his now.” Roy had been working part time with the team.  Roy had said he wanted to take over the club because it was the closest reminder to Thea that he had. With her back she knew Roy would be ecstatic.  Just like Oliver, he deserved someone special.

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is it the end?

The walk down the hallway of the hospital was all too familiar to Felicity.  Six times she walked the same path and each time she never remembered the walk. Each time her mind was bombarded with other things going on, Queen Consolidated, the Arrow, sometimes even what she was going to eat that afternoon but this time as she walked all Felicity could think about was Oliver.  He held her hand gently and carefully as if he gripped too hard he would crush her hand. Felicity however, was gripping Oliver’s hand as if it was her last lifeline.  This walk was even worse than the first time she went to the hospital.

 

This time there was too much riding on the visit. During this visit there was so much that could be decided.  Everything that happened in the past six months could be put behind them today. After today Oliver and Felicity may be able to move forward.  But if today didn’t go in their favor Oliver may have to get surgery again, they may have to start the whole process anew. 

 

Felicity wasn’t sure how she had stayed sane over the past six months, so much had happened.  She hadn’t even had the time to process what was going on with her and Oliver. As they walked the halls hand in hand it felt natural.  It felt like their relationship had always been that way.  Even if they weren’t exactly a normal couple Felicity felt like for once something was going their way.  She had Oliver and he had her.  Right now they both needed the extra support.

 

She took a deep breath as they rounded the corner to the waiting room of the doctor’s office.  “Hey, everything’s going to be all right. No matter what happens today we’ll still have us.”  Oliver had a way of calming her down.

 

He walked up to the check in desk as Felicity, Diggle, Roy and Thea grabbed seats.  Oliver didn’t want everyone to be there with him but the others didn’t give him a choice and Felicity was grateful for that.  She couldn’t wait here while Oliver was back there.  It was nice to have company.  It also reminded Oliver that he wasn’t alone.  He had friends and family to support him no matter the news.

 

While Felicity was worrying about Oliver she didn’t notice the fact that Roy and Thea appeared to have gotten back together. Felicity was glad to see that Thea had returned to town.  She had noticed something off about Roy and now he seemed happier than ever.

 

After ten minutes of sitting in silence Oliver was called back to the doctor.  Felicity wanted to go back there with him, she wanted to be beside him every step of the way but Oliver needed to handle this one thing on his own.

 

“Felicity, everything is going to be all right, calm down.”  Felicity hadn’t realized that Thea had got up and sat down next her.  She also didn’t realize that her legs were shaking uncontrollably. “Whatever happens back there happens, there’s nothing we can do about it.  Even if we face the worst possibility, we all face it, together.”

 

In the days since Thea’s return to Starling City Felicity and her had grown close.  She was constantly at the Queen mansion, which gave the two women plenty of time to get to know on another.  Thea was the only one who understands how Felicity felt.  Thea knew what it felt like to not know what’s coming next. And right now Felicity needed someone to help her through whatever came next.

 

“What if the worst does come and Oliver… what if he can’t…” Felicity’s voice trailed off into the distance, not wanting to finish her sentence. 

 

Roy chimed in, “If the worst does come at least you’ll be able to collect on his life insurance early.”  A small chuckle escaped Felicity’s mouth. She was glad to not be sitting by herself waiting for Oliver to return.  “No matter what happens we are all going out tonight, ever since my boss came back she’s been busting my ass.”  Roy gave a daring glance towards his girlfriend.

 

Felicity was enchanted by the way the two looked at each other.  Their eyes communicated to the world how much they loved each other.  Both Roy and Thea had been through hell and back together but they still had an overwhelming amount of love for one another. They were the reason Felicity believed in love.  Love isn’t perfect, it’s a push and pull relationship.  There will be struggles, there will be hardships, but when you’re with the right person the love will always be there.

 

At the sound of a door closing Felicity whipped her head around.  Oliver was standing before her still as a statue, no emotion shown.   She sprinted out of the chair and ran into his arms smashing her lips into his.  Felicity didn’t want whatever the results were to ruin her relationship with Oliver. Just like Thea and Roy she wanted to be with him through thick and thin.

 

She didn’t care what happened because it didn’t matter, not anymore.  Felicity didn’t want to separate from Oliver; she wanted the last few moments of not knowing to last a little longer.  Slowly their lips parted.  Oliver whispered, “It’s gone.”  This made Felicity break even more.  Everything was going to be fine, the cancer was gone they could finally move past it.

 

The rest of the group must have seen her reaction because the next thing she knew Felicity was enveloped in a group hug. Tears ran down her cheeks but unlike many nights before they were tears of joy.  Yes things were now different, a good different. At the beginning of the day Felicity had no idea what awaited her after Oliver’s appointment and now she still had no clue.  Anything could happen, endless possibilities.


	8. Chapter 8

“So are we going to go out tonight?” Roy was eagerly waiting for an answer.

 

Walking out of the hospital there was a joyful vibe. Felicity clung to Oliver’s side.   “Roy!”  Thea playfully slapped the back of his head in disapproval.

 

It was nice to have Roy and Thea there; it felt like they were surrounded by family.

 

“I’m sorry but don’t you think we could all use a night out?”  Roy had a valid point. “For the past couple of months it’s been all business.  Don’t ya think we all deserve a drink” he continued, “or two?”

 

“Roy, we can’t even drink.” Thea pointed out.

 

“Yeah let’s do this.”  Everyone whipped their head in Felicity’s direction at the sound of her voice, “What I could sure as hell use a drink or two.” Felicity had been craving a night away from life and this was her opportunity to get away.

 

“Okay it’s settled, we go to Verdant tonight. My treat.”  Oliver decided with a huge smile on his face. Felicity’s heart skipped a beat. She hadn’t seen a genuine smile from him in a while. 

 

At the parking garage the two groups said they’re goodbyes. Roy and Thea said they had a couple of errands to run while Digg, Oliver and Felicity were going to head to QC and try to get some work done.

 

Felicity’s heels echoed throughout the garage as they walked to the car.  Digg offered to pick them up but Oliver insisted he could walk.  But Felicity could see he was struggling slightly as he reached out to grab her for support.

 

Oliver’s workout routine had been increasing slightly over the past few days.  When he first started to undergo treatment Felicity had to physically pull him off of the salmon ladder.  Now, he would give her a quick glance asking if it was okay for him to continue. She read somewhere in a book that people recovering from chemotherapy treatments needed to slowly get back into their daily routine.  Unfortunately for Oliver, his daily routine was busier and more physically challenging than most peoples.

 

“Oliver, are you sure you want to head back to QC? It’s been a long day and it will be a long night,” her eyes grew wide at the implication and Oliver’s eyebrows went up in curiosity, “and it will be a long nightbecause Thea and Roy will keep us out ~~all night~~ , not any other reason.” Felicity heard Digg chuckled and Oliver shook his head, trying to cover up a growing smile.

 

“I thought all these sexual innuendos would stop when we got together; I’m glad I’m wrong.”  Felicity hated when she would always make something sexual but at least her embarrassing moments seemed to make someone happy. “And yes I want to go to QC. There is work to be done.”

 

Digg opened the door to the car and Oliver got in, followed by Felicity.  “If that’s what you’re set on.  You should know that some things have changed since you were last there.” Felicity pulled out her tablet from her purse and began to shoe Oliver what had happened while he was gone.

 

“I’m pretty sure Isabel Rochev thinks you’ve quit and I’ve taken over your position, which, I guess is true because you haven’t been there in a while.  Anyways, she’s gone full dictator.”  Work over the past couple of months had been hard for Felicity.  It was tough enough dealing with Isabel’s cheap shots everyday with Oliver there but when Oliver wasn’t there she was even worse. Sometimes Isabel would come by his office just to taunt Felicity. Luckily, now that would all be over with Oliver coming back. 

 

For the first time Felicity was excited to go back to QC.  There were days where she would sit at her desk and look into Oliver’s office hoping he would be there to glance back at her and give her a comforting smile.  But he hadn’t been to the office in months. There was no one looking back at her. Felicity’s stomach would always drop when she remembered why he wasn’t in the other side of the room.He was fighting a disease that was trying to take over his body. Today there would be someone in the office next to her.  Oliver would be sitting at his desk, smiling back at her.

 

Felicity didn’t know what to feel anymore. In the past six months her world had been flipped completely upside down.  When she found out Oliver had cancer Felicity knew she could lose him forever. She also realized she didn’t want to live in a world without him.  In the past months it has felt like her and Oliver had gone through hell and back. There were days when she thought she was going to lose him forever and there were days where it felt like the world was against Oliver, like there wasn’t a chance he could survive this. There were days when all that mattered was a single breath because that was keeping him alive and then there were days where none of that mattered. All that mattered was that they had each other.

 

When Digg pulled up Felicity noticed a swamp of people standing outside of the entrance, “I can pull into the garage, Oliver?” He offered.

 

She figured Digg preferred to pull into the garage and not deal with the crowd but Oliver had a determined look on his face. “I’m good Digg.” With a sigh John parked the car in front of the door and got out to open the door for Oliver and Felicity. Oliver grabbed Felicity’s hand and gave it a small squeeze before they stepped out.

 

Felicity had faced a little press before but this didn’t compare.  Felicity got out first and then Oliver.  As soon as the crowd spotted him a million flashes went off, the lights blinding her. Digg led the way, followed closely by Felicity then Oliver.  There was a narrow pathway for Felicity to follow and as she walked towards the door various hands reached for her and then one familiar hand wrapped around her waist. Oliver was standing by her side with his arm around her, “I thought we weren’t going to go public.” When their relationship first started Felicity and Oliver both agreed they better keep everything to themselves and close family because of what the media might do.

 

“I don’t care what they say, I need you here.” Felicity grabbed Oliver’s side and they walked up the stairs to QC with the media hot on their heels. Felicity kept her head down focusing on the steps she took.  After what seemed like an eternity they made it inside the building.

 

The glass door suddenly silenced the roar of the media and for the first time since she stepped out of the car Felicity was able to breathe.  “How do you do that all the time?”  Oliver’s arm was no longer around her waist but his hand had drifted towards hers.

 

“It’s easy when I have someone I care about by my side.”  He leaned close to her and placed a soft kiss on her forehead causing Felicity to lean into his touch. She could get used to coming to work with Oliver by her side. 

 

The lobby was practically empty with the exception of a few security guards, most people don’t come into work on Saturdays but here was Felicity with her CEO of a boss standing at work at 11:00 am on a Saturday. This was her life now and she wouldn’t trade it for anything.

 

As soon as the doors to the elevator doors closed Felicity collapsed against the wall, finally letting go of Oliver’s hand. As soon as she let go Oliver’s head whipped in her direction.  “Are you tired do you want to go back and just wait till tomorrow for me to return to work?” Felicity just smiled at Oliver’s concerned expression. ~~~~

“No it’s just, I never thought we’d be returning to QC, the three of us.  Ever since I found out you had cancer I always imagined there would be a day when Digg and I would ride up in this elevator alone with and empty cardboard box, coming to clean out your office.” Felicity opened her eyes and saw both men looking at her with an understanding of how she was feeling, “Now here we are, strolling hand in hand through the office back to business as usual.”

 

Oliver responded without hesitation, “Here we are. All three of us standing here again, business as usual.  You and Digg are never going to have to ride up in this elevator alone. I promise.”  The time they had alone in the elevator was over then, as the doors opened to the executive floor.

 

All 5’6” of power suited Isabel Rochev was standing directly outside of the opening doors waiting to pounce.  “Ms. Rochev if you could please schedule an appointment with Mr. Queen that would be helpful.  He has a very limited schedule for the time being,” Oliver and Digg pushed pass Isabel while Felicity tried to get her to leave.  “If you could come back later please and schedule an appointment through me.”

 

But, Isabel just ignored Felicity and followed the men while Felicity headed for her desk, unaffected by her failed attempts. Even though there was a glass wall separating them Felicity was able to hear most of the words that were spoken. She pretend to busy herself with the pile of papers sitting on top of her desk, “Ms. Rochev, today is my first day back in two months,”

 

“Exactly my point.  You’ve been gone for two months.  You’re unqualified assistant had been doing all of your work, even though your name is on the building this company isn’t yours anymore. I understand you’ve been a little busy but there’s still work to be done.”  Isabel was clearly controlling the room.

 

“Give me some time, I’ll have something to you by Monday.” With an unsatisfied look Isabel stormed out of the office and Felicity walked in.

 

“I guess we won’t be having any fun this weekend?” Oliver’s fists were clenched and his lips were drawn together in a tight line.  “Digg can you get us some lunch from Big Belly Burger?” With a nod Digglewas gone. 

 

Oliver let out a deep breath, “Not as much fun as you thought it would be?”  Felicity questioned.  He already looked tired from the visit to the hospital and after the run in with Isabel he looked even worse, “Oliver, you look like you can barely stand up on your own and you haven’t been getting much sleep lately.” 

 

Oliver rubbed his face trying to wipe the overwhelming need of sleep away, “We don’t have to go out tonight. I can tell Thea and Roy,” Oliver broke Felicity off with a soft kiss that pulled her tightly against him.

 

“No, I want to go out, it will be our first date.” Almost two months together and they still hadn’t gone on a proper date.

 

Felicity moved away to try and get some work done but Oliver’s arm held her steadfast in place, “Oliver,” she said with a groan, “I have work to do.”

 

“So do I,” He responded with a confident smirk.

 

“Oh no, not here, not now.”  A primitive whine came from Oliver as Felicity tried to escape his hold.

 

“You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve thought of you on this desk.”  Felicity tried to hide the smile on her face from Oliver, “See I’m not the only one who has thought of this situation.”  She wanted to do whatever it took to wipe the dopey smirk off of his face.

 

“Eight hot seconds after Isabel came in her and chewed you out for not doing work you’re at it again, that’s ballsy Mr. Queen.” A deep growl came from Oliver. Felicity knew the perfect way to wipe the smirk off of his face.  Still wrapped in Oliver’s arms Felicity continued, “If you’ll excuse me, Mr. Queen I have some work to get back to.”  That only made Oliver hold her tighter; her plan was working.  “I don’t think the kind of PDA you are looking for is appropriate for the work place.  Am I going to have to report you to HR Mr. Queen?”

 

Oliver pressed his hips against her slowly moving them up and down; now he was the one messing with Felicity. She tried to hold back a moan that was rising up in her chest but it escaped, louder that expected. It just made Oliver more wound up and he press into her harder.

 

He grabbed Felicity on her waist and in a swift motion she was sitting on top of his desk, barely shorter than him. Oliver licked his lips decisively and then everything was a blur to Felicity.  His lips were moving on top of hers, then his tongue was moving around her mouth making goose bumps prick up on her skin.

 

Felicity’s hands started on Oliver’s chest in an effort to push him away but finally she fell into the temptation and her hands moved their way up to his hair.  They moved swiftly around grabbing the short strands momentarily before she tried to take off his jacket.

 

She was able to pull the jacket off without much force. As soon as his hands were free Oliver moved them back to Felicity’s head messing up her hair that she worked so hard on that morning.  Felicity tried to expel the thought of disheveled hair and focused on Oliver. His movement were swift and precise, he knew exactly what he was doing.

 

Felicity ached for him.  She had never wanted somebody this desperately before. Their lips were still attached, only coming up for air every once in a while, when she reached for his belt. She got it undone and was reaching for the zipper when there was a knock on the door.

 

Both Oliver and Felicity groaned and their bodies slumped against each other, not wanting to face who had just saw them. “I have the food but now I’m not entirely sure I want to eat.”  Digg was standing at the entrance with a large bag labeled Big Belly Burger.

 

Felicity hopped off of the desk and grabbed the bag from Digg while Oliver got redressed.  “Sorry about that John.”  She couldn’t believe Oliver and her had gotten caught twice.  They really needed to find someplace private, soon.

 

Digg sat down on the couch in Oliver’s office, where they normally ate, while Felicity started to distribute the food. The three of them began eating in silence.

 

Felicity looked at Oliver, trying to get his attention to talk to Digg but Oliver only shook his head and mouthed, “Will you? He could crush me with just one arm.” Felicity couldn’t believe she was dating a man who couldn’t talk to his best friend.

 

“Digg,” Felicity started.

 

“Felicity, Oliver, despite what you may think I have a life outside the foundry and QC.  I have a girlfriend; I know what sex is and have done it before.  I don’t need the talk.”  Digg never looked up from his burger.

 

“How is Lyla by the way?”  Felicity wanted to change the topic from her and Oliver.

 

“She’s good, y’know off on some top secret A.R.G.U.S mission.”  Digg’s head dropped. It was clear he missed Lyla.

 

“I’m sorry John,” Oliver chimed in.

 

Digg lifted his head up with a sass filled look on his face, “My hands are full with you two, anyway.  I didn’t forget what I just witnessed, if that’s what you were trying to do.

 

After lunch the team stayed for a couple more hours reviewing various amounts of paperwork.  What prompted them to leave was when Felicity got a text from Thea saying: _You, me downtown in 5 for dress shopping._

 

“Um, Oliver?”  Felicity showed him the text with a worried expression.

 

Oliver laughed when he read it, “Better get going, she doesn’t like to wait; especially when it comes to shopping.” Felicity packed up her things and soon they were off downtown, after sneaking away from the press that stood outside.

 

Digg spotted Thea waiting outside of a small café, Le Saveur, that Felicity had never been too.  Both Oliver and Felicity stepped out of the car but soon Thea shooed him away, “This is a girls afternoon out, you can have her tonight.” Felicity wanted to protest but gave in to Thea’s charm, “Go away Ollie, she’s mine for now.” Oliver gave Felicity a small peck on the lips and then the men were gone.

 

“What are we shopping for?”  The girls had entered a small boutique and began looking around.

 

“A dress that is going to blow my brother away.” Thea picked up a short yellow dress and held it up to Felicity.  She quickly contorted her face in a look of disgust and put the dress back without a word.

 

After visiting a few shops Felicity’s hands were beginning to fill up with shopping bags.  She was laughing and having a great time, something she rarely did in Starling City.

 

The store they entered then, was large in comparison to the others.  It was filled, top to bottom, with dresses; gorgeous dresses.  Felicity’s jaw dropped at the array of clothing before her. If she could buy the entire store she would.  Thea was able to draw her back to reality, “Right, I usually come in here to gawk at the dresses but now I have a reason to try them on.”

 

“I didn’t know you had to have a reason.” Felicity’s head whipped in every direction, trying to absorb all the beauty.

 

“Ms. Queen, what can we get you today?” The sales woman and Thea greeted each other warmly, giving a small kiss on the cheek.

 

“Sylvia, so nice to see you again. I’m actually helping a friend; this is Felicity.  She’s-,” Felicity nudged Thea in the side to get her to not talk about her and Oliver, “she’s going on a date tonight with a lucky guy and we want to show him he doesn’t deserve her.” Thea winked at Felicity.

 

“I have plenty of dresses, just none as- oh my god, is that what a think it is?” 

 

“Yes miss.  We have a replication of any dress a star has worn.  Kate Middleton, Kim Kardashian, anyone who has made the news.” Felicity was in heaven.

 

She and Thea grabbed as many dresses as they could fit in their arms and ran to the dressing rooms.  It was nice to be able to spend a couple hours hanging with a normal person.

 

“So how did you and my brother work out? No offense, but, you don’t seem like his type, and that’s a good thing.”  Thea shouted through the changing room door.

 

As she zipped up the dress she was trying on Felicity searched for an answer.  Thea was right; even to Felicity it didn’t seem right that she was dating Oliver. It felt right, like she wouldn’t know what to do with herself without him, but she ~~knew she~~ didn’t know how she ended up with him.  An IT girl doesn’t typically get a CEO, billionaire boyfriend like Oliver.

 

As Felicity exited the dressing room she responded, “I guess we needed each other at the same time.”

 

As the two women faced each other, Thea’s mouth was wide open, “You look, beyond amazing.  I think we found a winner.”  They then paid for the clothes and left. 

 

“Where to now?” Felicity asked.

 

“Verdant.  I told Roy we’d meet him and the others there at 8.  Oh crap, I lost track of time, we only have two hours to get ready!”  Thea was running up and down the sidewalk, in her heels, trying to call a cab without much luck.

 

Felicity whistled as loud as she could and within half a second there was a cab stopped in front of her.  Thea looked at her with surprise.  “How’d you do that?”

 

“18 years in Vegas will teach you a lot of things.” Felicity left Thea guessing as to what else she had learned from her childhood.

 

When they arrived at Verdant Felicity was able to set down all of her clothes and actually see how much she bought. She was shocked her credit card hadn’t maxed out.  In the past few hours Felicity went from nothing to wear to not being able to ~~can’t~~ choose what to wear.

 

Finally, after many coin tosses and pros and cons charts, Felicity was ready to go.  “You ready to show these men just how lucky they are?”  Thea was wearing a blue sequined cocktail dress with one strap on the right shoulder and heels that matched perfectly. Felicity was amazed at how mature Thea seemed. If she didn’t know her better, Felicity would’ve guessed she was in her mid-20s. 

 

Thea opened the door to her office and suddenly Felicity’s once quiet ears were filled with the sound of the club. She couldn’t remember the last time she went to a club.  Maybe her senior year in college or was it her senior year in high school? Regardless, those years were well behind her, which was odd considering she worked under the club every night.

 

Standing awkwardly against the back wall of the club were Digg, Oliver, and Roy.  They were all dressed in similar black suits and ties, varying slightly in different colors.  Roy’s was a dark red; much like the hood he wore at night.  Digg’s was a navy blue.  And Oliver’s of course was a dark green matching his alter ego.

 

As soon as Thea and Felicity began to walk down the steps Oliver’s head lifted and a huge smile appeared on his face. Felicity concentrated on each step she took; careful not to fall down in front of him again.

 

“Wow, you look gorgeous.”  Felicity couldn’t help but blushing.  Even though she was dating Oliver it still felt odd to have him say that.  But, she could get used to it.

 

“You’re welcome.” Thea hit him playfully on the chest then went to stand next to Roy.

 

Oliver was still staring at Felicity, “Green?” He finally spoke. Felicity’s dress was a dark green cocktail dress with a zipper down the front.  As of that day it was one of her favorites.

 

“I thought it would match your tie.” Grabbed Oliver’s arm and they began to join the group; weaving through the crowd.

 

“You didn’t know I was going to wear a green tie.”

 

“I am your Executive Assistant; I know you, Oliver Queen.”

 

Oliver stopped and pulled her close; their noses were barely touching, “You’re more than that.”    Their lips moved against each other to the beat of the music vibrating through them.  Instead of being in a crowded club it felt like it was just the two of them, standing alone, holding each other.  Felicity wanted to stay in Oliver’s armsforever.

 

“Okay, you lovebirds.  Lets get dancing.”  Thea pulled Oliver out into the middle of the dance floor, leaving Felicity, Roy and Digg standing together laughing.

 

“Oh my god!  What is he trying to do?”  Roy remarked while shaking his head.

 

“That’s called dancing kid, I doubt you could do better.”  Digg shoved Roy to where Thea and Oliver were and soon it seemed as if there was a dance-off between the three men and although, Oliver may win in sparring he was getting his ass handed to him by both Roy and Digg.

 

Felicity stood by Thea laughing and having a good time. After ten minutes of watching Oliver dance she had enough.  Grabbing him by his hand she dragged him over to the bar.  “How’s my dancing?”  He asked with and exasperated smile on his face.

 

“Good thing you can shoot well.” Felicity looked onto the dance floor to see that the small dance-off they had going was now dispersed. Roy and Thea were dancing while Digg was beginning to make his way over to them.

 

“So, the amazing Oliver Queen isn’t so amazing at everything.”  Digg joked.

 

“I’ll remember that next time we’re sparring.” Oliver said nonchalantly with a smirk.

 

For the next few hours the group talked, drank, and danced and they only did two of those things well.  Felicity was having the best night of her life. She forgot that some people didn’t have anything to worry about and she forgot how good it felt to let go and have fun with the people she loved.

 

Felicity didn’t remember leaving the club or getting into a car but the next thing she knew Oliver was carrying her up the stairs in the Queen mansion.  Her head was buried in his arms and her arms were wrapped around his back. Felicity could hear his heartbeat was slow and strong.  She loved the small thump of life against her ears.

 

Then she was gently being set down in a bed. Felicity looked around the room to see if Oliver would be joining her soon but it was pitch black. She tried to stay up and wait for him to return but sleep won over and soon she was drifting asleep.

 

Unsure if it was reality or a dream the last thing she felt before complete darkness was a gentle kiss being placed against her temple and a quiet but certain voice whispering, “I love you.”


End file.
